Posts Tagged ‘Santino Marella’

 

CM Punk's Wrestlemania debut: An extra playing a Chicago "Gangster"

I purchase two pay-per-views a year:  The WWE Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania.  And Wrestlemania is UPON US!

I think this year’s Wrestlemania has a lot to offer.  Let’s dig in.

Darnit Randy, I said "Dig *IN*"!

The Rock vs. John Cena

I see John Cena winning here.  I’m not his biggest fan, but I just don’t think they’ll have Rock come back WITHOUT putting over whoever he was going to face.  This match has a lot of spark.  Insiders are saying that there is legit tension between the two.  It there really?  Maybe.  But both of these guys are doing there best to make me BELIEVE it, which is the most important part. 

Bottom line:  Cena pins The Rock.  If he makes The Rock tap out I’ll shit my pants.

Extra fun:  Bret Hart mentioned on Twitter that he would happily show The Rock how to properly apply The Sharpshooter.  Even back in the late ’90s and early 2000s my friends and I lamented how poorly Dwayne puts that on.

Nope.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H

  • Hell in a Cell
  • Shawn Michaels as special referee

Triple H and I are PALS! Chyna and I...not so much.

This is the match that I’m most confident about on the card.  The Undertaker will win this match.  I’ll go further and say that I don’t believe Shawn Michaels will “screw” anybody out of a victory or anything like that. 

My friend took this pic when we were at a house show in Anaheim in 1997. The heat on these guys was INCREDIBLE.

It’s disappointing to hear so many people say, “Oh, I don’t want to see that match again.  I saw it twice already.” 

Yeah.

They had a match at Wrestlemania 17.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.

They had a match least year.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.

Were they Flair / Steamboat (who had wrestled hundreds of times and still had great matches which internet nerds salivate over)?  No.  But they have their own style of match that features two bad-ass wrestlers that nobody would fuck with and have the audience wondering what’s going to happen next.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

          * WWE Championship match

Jericho and I are PALS!

This shit is gonna’ rule.  My guess is that Punk retains the championship (my confidence level is 75 percent).  But you’ve got these two guys who really know how to work a crowd.  Personally I’m more excited about this match than anything else on the card.  The thing is that I kind of want Jericho to win just to ensure that this feud continues.  But again – my guess is that Punk wins decisively. 

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

  • World Heavyweight Championship match

Daniel Bryan. AGREEMENT! AGREEMENT!

I think that this will also be a great match.  I predict Sheamus will take the championship (85 percent).  I would LOVE it if Bryan kept the title but don’t see it happening on Sunday.  Bryan is SO GOOD playing the evil vegan and AJ is playing her “Miss Elizabeth” role quite well.  Maybe if I’m lucky, Daniel will win the title back at the next pay-per-view.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show

  • Intercontinental Championship match

I don't have a picture of myself with Cody or Show, so here's me with Cody's brother. He was very nice.

I’m just happy that the IC title is being defended at Wrestlemania!  This hasn’t been a given the last few years.  Cody’s doing a great job as the jerk, and I think the audience will really want Big Show to bring the belt home.  I’m guessing that Big Show will do that, but am only about 65 percent sure.

 Randy Orton vs. Kane

 Aw, man… I really don’t think that this match will be good.  Orton vs. Punk had a great finish last year, but Kane is no CM Punk.  I guess that Randy will win, and I will want this to be over quickly so as not to irritate my non-wrestling fans who will be at the house with boredom.

 I beg these two to prove me wrong.

 Team Teddy [Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Booker T] VS

Team Johnny [David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre]

 A lot of people are whining about this match.  The way I see it, if they’re not going to have a Money in the Bank match (which I would FAR prefer), this is the next best way for some of the guys to get on the card.  Battle Royals have kind of been done to death and at least this match kind of means something.

Even without my qualifiying statements above, I think this should still be fun.  I absolutely love Santino, Kofi’s great, Zack should be fun, I love Booker, Ziggler’s friggin’ awesome, I think Swagger is underrated and should be pushed better, and I still haven’t stopped digging The Miz since before he won the WWE championship.  I’m happy Mark Henry has a spot. 

[For those of you keeping track, R-Truth, The Great Khali, David Otunga and Drew McIntyre are people that I really wouldn’t pay to see.]

My guess here is that Team Johnny will win.  I look over my predictions and see that I’m calling most matches for the “good” guy (although I do consider Rock, Cena, Taker and Trips to be neutral).  Bad guys have to win SOMEWHERE and this seems to be as good a place as ever. 

Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

One wrestler and three airheads, one of which is allegedly a celebrity.  My prediction on this is that I will use the restroom and likely grab a snack.

And that’s all that’s been announced as of now, but there are other things to consider:

**  Will Triple H come out to his Conan the Barbarian costume?

**  Could Living Colour play CM Punk’s theme live on his way out?  (There have been no rumors to suggest this but I think it’d be awesome)

**  Will Jim Ross call any matches?  Cuz he SHOULD.

**  What surprise WWE Legends will show up?  We need to see Hot Rod somewhere, don’t we?  Or the Iron Sheik?  They need to start promoting Legends House, right?

Sunday, April 1st on Pay Per View

 

UPDATE!!  They changed a match, so I am changing a prediction.  Vladmir Koslov has been taken out of the 8 man tag match and has been replaced with Kofi Kingston.  As a result, I am changing my prediction to Kofi’s team winning.  He DID just lose the Intercontinental Championship to Wade Barrett, and I figure a win at Wrestlemania might make it up to the guy.

And now…back to the blog in progress:

It’s time for the biggest show of the year, The Showcase of the Immortals, this… … … is WRESTLEMANIA!

Before we get to what’s on the card, let’s get to what’s NOT on the show which is the Money in the Bank match. This match has happened for the last six Wrestlemanias and proves very exciting each time.  Eight guys in a match fight to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase containing a shot at their choice of championships for any time during the next year.  This is a highlight every year and they fuckin’ pulled it.

Big mistake, guys.  The Money in the Bank match has always had a very special feeling to it.  When you were watching it you knew this was a big deal.

Wrestlemania’s guest host is The Rock.  This was a GREAT addition.  He says he has some very special things planned for the night and dammit, I believe him.

Wait… let’s try again.

[Whew, that’s better!]  On to the matches.  I copied this list from Wikipedia – changing the order of the top three.

1 Triple H vs. The Undertaker 

I just found out that Triple H will be coming out to the ring to a Metallica song.  I’m not sure which.  At first I though it might be “Enter Sandman”, but after thinking about it realized that it HAS to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls”.  Not just because it’s my favorite song from my favorite band, but because it is rather fitting for the match.

As far as the match itself goes, I think it’ll be very exciting.  It won’t be nearly as exciting as The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels from the last two years, but lots of fun and definitely worth the main event assuming it is the last match of the night [which is no guarantee – see Number 2].

PREDICTION:  The Undertaker.  No way Trips is ending The Streak.

No Holds Barred match

2 The Miz (c) vs. John Cena 

This is the only other match that could be the last of the night, but I’m putting it second because that’s where I personally think it belongs.  I feel bad for The Miz.  He’s the friggin’ WWE Champ for Pete’s sake, but all anybody can talk about is Rock vs. Cena.  Having said that, I think I’ll be pleasantly suprised, and The Miz will find a way to get past Cena to remain Champ…likely due to The Rock’s interference.  My prediction largely hangs on my theory that Rock vs. Cena will take place at SummerSlam and I don’t believe that would be a title match.

I really HOPE Rock vs. Cena is at SummerSlam, because SummerSlam is in Los Angeles this year and you can darned well bet that I’ll be there!

PREDICTION: The Miz.

Singles match for the WWE Championship

3 Edge (c) (with Christian) vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Brodus ClayRicardo Rodriguez

Somehow this match is lacking something.  I can’t place it.

I see Alberto Del Rio winning the championship after Christian turns on his longtime pal.

PREDICTION:  Alberto Del Rio.

Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship[11]
4 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger

I’m happy for Jerry “The King” Lawler, finally getting his Wrestlemania match after all these years in the business.

Lawler piledrives Cole.  Austin stuns Swagger.  Austin stuns Cole (post match).  Beer.

PREDICTION: Jerry “The King” Lawler via pin following piledriver.

Singles match with special guest referee Steve Austin
5 Randy Orton vs. CM Punk 

Man I fuckin’ love CM Punk.  Unfortunately, I don’t see both Randy and Cena (WWE’s present and future faces of the company) losing their respective matches.

PREDICTION: Orton wins via RKO.

Singles match
6 Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes 

I’m more interested in finding out what stupid costume Mysterio will be wearing than the match itself.  I’m ambivalent about it but am open to them impressing me.

PREDICTION: Rey Mysterio wins and takes off Cody’s mask to reveal… a normal looking face?

Singles match
7 Nicole “Snooki” PolizziTrish Stratus and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) (with Vickie Guerrero

PREDICTION: I will get a snack during this match.

In all seriousness (and I WAS serious), I don’t recall a high-profile “celebrity” match where the “celebrity” lost.

PREDICTION (addendum):  Trish, Morrison and Snookie win. Also, I will feel bad for Trish.

6-person mixed tag team match
8 Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan 

I think Daniel Bryan is frigging awesome.  Nothing against Sheamus – who is actually doing really well these days – but I really want to see Daniel go over here.

PREDICTION: DANIEL BRYAN wins via submission in the best WRESTLING match of the night.

Singles match for the United States Championship
9 KaneBig ShowSantino Marella, and Vladimir Kozlov (with Tamina) vs. The Corre (Wade BarrettEzekiel JacksonJustin Gabriel, and Heath Slater

Santino is my favorite comic relief of the WWE.  Unfortunately, I don’t see The Corre losing here.

PREDICTION: The Corre wins, then Santino and gang do some wacky stuff after the match.

8-man Tag Team match

I dunno’.  The card isn’t AMAZING.  But it’s the biggest show of the year, ya’ know?

I’m sure there will be many fun non-match segments throughout.  I’m hoping Diesel shows up.  What else you got, Vince?

sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY,

Kev

So a couple of weeks ago CM Punk beat Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match.  The kids were heartbroken.  I’m actually disapointed he’s leaving as well.  He has matured greatly in the last year or so and has had some GREAT matches, but he needs some time off and I certainly don’t blame the guy for it.
Jeff Hardy as WWE Champion

Jeff Hardy as WWE Champion

Unfortunately, Jeff has

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STOP THE PRESSES!

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I do most [heck, all!] of my blogging at work.  I started writing this blog on Thursday, September 10th, but work has been so busy that I stopped exactly at that spot above and haven’t had a chance to continue it until now.  So – Thursday I am writing about how much he has matured in the past year…and Friday he gets arrested for steroids – BUNCHES of steroids, painkiller and cocaine possession.  The guy has a massive legal battle and very possibly jail time ahead of him.  This blog wasn’t really going to be about him, however, so I’ll continue more or less in the spirit I started in.                         – – – – – continuing

CM Punk came into WWE as a good guy.  In real life he lives a drug free lifestyle.  No drinking, no drugs.  His “Straight Edge” lifestyle had been briefly brought up in interviews but he didn’t really harp on it that much.  In the past few months they decided to turn him into a bad guy.  They did this by having him preach to us fans about our “hedonistic” and “drug hazed” lives.  Now with me not being a drug guy I loved it, but even if it wasn’t about drugs I would have thought he was awesome.  He has transistioned into a very memorable and confident bad guy.  The feud with Jeff Hardy was inevitable, as Jeff (in real life) has had two strikes against him with the WWE Wellness Policy, which has been widely thought to be (but never officially acknowledged) for recreational drug use.  Punk REALLY dug into Jeff over the last couple of months and it was highly entertaining.

Anyway, CM Punk beats Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match one Friday on Smackdown.  The following Friday, however, the show starts with Jeff Hardy’s music and his video on the big screens!  Has Jeff shown up regardless of his loss? 

CM Punk dressed as Jeff Hardy

CM Punk dressed as Jeff Hardy

When Punk came out, he looked so similar that it fooled a lot of the crowd.  He did the little dance  and hand gestures that Jeff would do when he came out.  ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.  He even kept it up as he got in the ring and went to the corners and did Jeff’s pose, then walked around clapping as Hardy would do.  A lot of the young kids in the crowd went CRAZY!

"I can't believe he's going to be here!!"  One of the kids is wearing Jeff's armbands.

"I can't believe he's going to be here!!" One of the kids is wearing Jeff's armbands.

But then…and this is where I start my path to hell…those kids realize it’s not him and EXTREME disappointment builds.

This poor kid realizes that it isn't Jeff Hardy in the ring, but rather his nemesis CM Punk.

This poor kid realizes that it isn't Jeff Hardy in the ring, but rather his nemesis CM Punk.

This picture is too brilliant for words.  Suffice to say, the kid is none too pleased with Mr. Punk.

This picture is too brilliant for words. Suffice to say, the kid is none too pleased with Mr. Punk.

I call this "Acceptance".

I call this "Acceptance".

So, Punk is the Champ on Smackdown.  Here’s to a long reign for the man.  Hopefully he can last and headline Wrestlemania!

Your World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk

Your World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk

 

Since I’m talking wresting, here are some other random thoughts..

* Coming in as the SECOND best thing in wrestling right now is Chris Jericho.  I don’t know if there has ever been anybody as CONSISTENTLY awesome as this guy.

Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho

* I get a kick out of the way that Ted Dibiase (jr.) does his fist drops just like his father, The Million Dollar Man (more Like Father Like Son!).

Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase, Jr.

Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase, Jr.

* I needs me more Santino!

Santin-Os - Breakfast of the Champions!

Santin-Os - Breakfast of the Champions!

* William Regal is still a badass and I hope he wins the ECW Championship (sorry Christian – you are awesome as well!).

William Regal

William Regal

* And finally ladies and gentlemen, the future of professional wrestling: John Morrison:

John Morrison

John Morrison

WHATCHA’ GONNA’ DO?!?!

Kev