Posts Tagged ‘Chris Jericho’

 

CM Punk's Wrestlemania debut: An extra playing a Chicago "Gangster"

I purchase two pay-per-views a year:  The WWE Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania.  And Wrestlemania is UPON US!

I think this year’s Wrestlemania has a lot to offer.  Let’s dig in.

Darnit Randy, I said "Dig *IN*"!

The Rock vs. John Cena

I see John Cena winning here.  I’m not his biggest fan, but I just don’t think they’ll have Rock come back WITHOUT putting over whoever he was going to face.  This match has a lot of spark.  Insiders are saying that there is legit tension between the two.  It there really?  Maybe.  But both of these guys are doing there best to make me BELIEVE it, which is the most important part. 

Bottom line:  Cena pins The Rock.  If he makes The Rock tap out I’ll shit my pants.

Extra fun:  Bret Hart mentioned on Twitter that he would happily show The Rock how to properly apply The Sharpshooter.  Even back in the late ’90s and early 2000s my friends and I lamented how poorly Dwayne puts that on.

Nope.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H

  • Hell in a Cell
  • Shawn Michaels as special referee

Triple H and I are PALS! Chyna and I...not so much.

This is the match that I’m most confident about on the card.  The Undertaker will win this match.  I’ll go further and say that I don’t believe Shawn Michaels will “screw” anybody out of a victory or anything like that. 

My friend took this pic when we were at a house show in Anaheim in 1997. The heat on these guys was INCREDIBLE.

It’s disappointing to hear so many people say, “Oh, I don’t want to see that match again.  I saw it twice already.” 

Yeah.

They had a match at Wrestlemania 17.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.

They had a match least year.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.

Were they Flair / Steamboat (who had wrestled hundreds of times and still had great matches which internet nerds salivate over)?  No.  But they have their own style of match that features two bad-ass wrestlers that nobody would fuck with and have the audience wondering what’s going to happen next.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

          * WWE Championship match

Jericho and I are PALS!

This shit is gonna’ rule.  My guess is that Punk retains the championship (my confidence level is 75 percent).  But you’ve got these two guys who really know how to work a crowd.  Personally I’m more excited about this match than anything else on the card.  The thing is that I kind of want Jericho to win just to ensure that this feud continues.  But again – my guess is that Punk wins decisively. 

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

  • World Heavyweight Championship match

Daniel Bryan. AGREEMENT! AGREEMENT!

I think that this will also be a great match.  I predict Sheamus will take the championship (85 percent).  I would LOVE it if Bryan kept the title but don’t see it happening on Sunday.  Bryan is SO GOOD playing the evil vegan and AJ is playing her “Miss Elizabeth” role quite well.  Maybe if I’m lucky, Daniel will win the title back at the next pay-per-view.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show

  • Intercontinental Championship match

I don't have a picture of myself with Cody or Show, so here's me with Cody's brother. He was very nice.

I’m just happy that the IC title is being defended at Wrestlemania!  This hasn’t been a given the last few years.  Cody’s doing a great job as the jerk, and I think the audience will really want Big Show to bring the belt home.  I’m guessing that Big Show will do that, but am only about 65 percent sure.

 Randy Orton vs. Kane

 Aw, man… I really don’t think that this match will be good.  Orton vs. Punk had a great finish last year, but Kane is no CM Punk.  I guess that Randy will win, and I will want this to be over quickly so as not to irritate my non-wrestling fans who will be at the house with boredom.

 I beg these two to prove me wrong.

 Team Teddy [Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Booker T] VS

Team Johnny [David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre]

 A lot of people are whining about this match.  The way I see it, if they’re not going to have a Money in the Bank match (which I would FAR prefer), this is the next best way for some of the guys to get on the card.  Battle Royals have kind of been done to death and at least this match kind of means something.

Even without my qualifiying statements above, I think this should still be fun.  I absolutely love Santino, Kofi’s great, Zack should be fun, I love Booker, Ziggler’s friggin’ awesome, I think Swagger is underrated and should be pushed better, and I still haven’t stopped digging The Miz since before he won the WWE championship.  I’m happy Mark Henry has a spot. 

[For those of you keeping track, R-Truth, The Great Khali, David Otunga and Drew McIntyre are people that I really wouldn’t pay to see.]

My guess here is that Team Johnny will win.  I look over my predictions and see that I’m calling most matches for the “good” guy (although I do consider Rock, Cena, Taker and Trips to be neutral).  Bad guys have to win SOMEWHERE and this seems to be as good a place as ever. 

Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

One wrestler and three airheads, one of which is allegedly a celebrity.  My prediction on this is that I will use the restroom and likely grab a snack.

And that’s all that’s been announced as of now, but there are other things to consider:

**  Will Triple H come out to his Conan the Barbarian costume?

**  Could Living Colour play CM Punk’s theme live on his way out?  (There have been no rumors to suggest this but I think it’d be awesome)

**  Will Jim Ross call any matches?  Cuz he SHOULD.

**  What surprise WWE Legends will show up?  We need to see Hot Rod somewhere, don’t we?  Or the Iron Sheik?  They need to start promoting Legends House, right?

Sunday, April 1st on Pay Per View

Chris Jericho has a new book out.  It is titled “Undisputed” and is his second autobiography.  It’s a damned good read.  The book takes place right where the first book ends:  His first appearance in WWE.  He has a number of stories about the challenges he faced in the locker room, in the ring and with his new boss, Vince McMahon.

Now as good as the book is [and again, it’s very very good!!], this is not a post about The Book.  This is a post about how I finally met one of my all time heroes and wrestlers… the man of 1,004 holds:  Chris Jericho.

It was on his book tour [how’s that for getting to the point?].

I got in line.  Five days previous I had met another hero from another realm, the Fifth Doctor from Doctor Who.  I had great success getting a picture where I looked super excited and he looked miserable and wanted to recreate that magic with Jericho.  While waiting in line, I noticed that another fan had brought with him a replica of the World Heavyweight Championship – a belt Jericho had worn many times.  I don’t like to bother people often at all, but it’s not often I have an opportunity to take pictures like THESE:

Very fun!

So I got through the line and finally met him.  He was super nice as expected.  I asked him if I could take a shot where I was really excited and doing one of his poses while he looked miserable, like “This is the shit I gotta’ put up with?”  He replied, “That’s the look I give in ALL my pictures.”  So we posed.  My friend Rick took a few shots with his super-swell camera and then I thanked him.  As we started to leave, Rick looked at a couple of the pictures and started laughing, saying, “These are really good!”  As Jericho watched us leave, he was smiling and seemed genuinely happy to be doing something just a bit different from most of the pics he takes with his legions of fans.

And here is the shot of the day:

I like it.  A lot.

Thank you so much, Chris!

Jerichoholic for Life,

Kev

So Summerslam is happening tomorrow at the Staples Center here in Los Angeles.  As Summerslam is one of the bigger pay-per-views of the year, they ofter have a fan fest the weekend of the event to get the fans excited.  Ray and I borrowed Rick’s superexpensive camera and took the Redline downtown for it!

Quick note – all the pictures here  are available for viewing bigger and clearer on my Flickr site here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/62529181@N00/sets/72157624601449431/detail/

But first, we saw a bunch of kids standing in line to get there picture taken with Dora the Explorer.  Isn’t this aDorable (pun intended)?

Here’s the entrance to the event:

It wasn’t as packed as I expected.  There were bunches of booths set up, but our main objective was to see Chris Jericho’s Q&A session in the ring.  He’s my favorite wrestler and probably Ray’s.  When we first showed up, WWE Legend and Hall of Famer Howard Finkel was asking trivia questions and giving away prizes.  Then they asked for volunteers for another contest and I was chosen!  I got to go in the ring with 7 other people (mostly kids).  I’ll have you know, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be in a WWE ring since for fucking EVER!  It felt pretty darned cool lifting my right leg up and stepping through the top and middle rope as I entered the squared circle.  And luckily I handed the camera to Ray who took this AMAZING photo of me achieving this lifetime goal!!:

Goddammit Ray.

I guess he hit a switch or something.  Pretty frigging disappointing.  ANYWAY (speaking of disappointing) back to the contest!  The idea was that the cohost would go down the line and we would simply say the name of any WWE wrestler from the present or the past.  If somebody couldn’t think of a name or a name was repeated you were out.  This is very similar to Beastie Rap – a game we like to play in improv.  So…Beastie Rap featuring WWE superstars?  Forget about it, this is MY game to lose!!

Yeah, I lost.  I started out great!  In fact, I used this opportunity to try to impress Howard Finkel.  Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake was my hero for several of my formative years, and I loved the way that Howard would introduce him so much that I pretty much perfected it.  So just before the mic got to me I pointed at The Fink and said, “This is for you, Howard” then belted out my best impression.  He nodded but didn’t really care.  ANYWAY I was so busy thinking of names that I wasn’t listening as closely to the other players as I should have.  I got the important ones out of the way… Brutus, Owen Hart and Brian Pillman were my first three.  I got Tito Santana and Rick Martel out there.  I was trying to go Old School and said Junkyard Dog but somebody had already said it.  I was out, but got a consolation prize of a nifty WWE car sunscreen!

And the winner?  Some seven year old girl who was pulling Old School names out of nowhere!  She won tickets to Summerslam for her and her family.

Goddammit Kevin.  I totally should have won that and Ray and I should totally be going to Summerslam for free.

After the contest and what seemed like HOURS of shilling for the pay-per-view, we got a match.  This was pretty cool as Ray and I were literally at what would be second row.  Very very close to the action.  Ted Dibiase came out wearing his old man’s Million Dollar Belt with Maryse by his side.  As Evan Bourne came out I got interested.  First of all I think Evan has an incredible future ahead of him, but I also realized that he would be doing the Shooting Star Press which is a simply amazing move (of COURSE the good guy was going to win here – they’re getting the crowd excited!).

Ted addresses the crowd wearing the belt (I got the shitty angle):

Then Evan Bourne came out!

And here is Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star Press – one of the coolest wrestling moves around:

Very fun and very cool to see live.  Probably even more fun if I wasn’t so focused on getting these pictures of it (and yes – I missed the point of impact which kinda sucks).

So Evan wins his match and everything is great, but the good news is that Jericho is up next being interviewed with the Bella Twins!  The Bellas come out first, followed by the Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla!!

Jericho gets a hug from the Bella Twins:

The interview itself was interesting in that he wasn’t really in character.  He was talking about “storylines” and things of that nature.  There were a few questions – all provided by the fans – but my favorite was when somebody asked him who his ideal “last match” opponent would be.  He basically said that it doesn’t matter who his last opponent is as long as the story building up to it is intriguing and exciting.  He also said he’s not all that interested in getting a big farewell like Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels.  He thinks it’d be more fun to leave kicking and screaming, being dragged away and making people think, “Man, that guy’s a jerk!”  Funny and true (I’d want the same thing).

I follow Jericho on Twitter (like I say, I’m a huge fan of the guy).  He and I both share a passion for heavy metal.  We differ, however, on the new Megadeth album.  I think it’s just awful, while Jericho praised it on Twitter and even Tweeted once how Dave Mustaine (leader of Megadeth) is a genius.  I wanted to get a reaction from Jericho before he left so as he passed I yelled out, “Dave Mustaine is overrated!” to which he sharply looked in my direction and said “He is NOT” in the most direct way possible.

After Jericho left, that was pretty much it for us.  We took a walk around the area and saw wrestlers leaving autograph areas.  I’m pretty sure David Otunga hates me:

So that’s how our WWE Fan Experience ended.  Now here’s the deal:  We aren’t going to Summerslam but we ARE going to RAW Monday night.  Ray has some contacts that can get us not only free second row seats to the event, but BACKSTAGE apparently.  So here’s my dream photo list:

Chris Jericho (will he remember my Mustaine-bashing?  My mustache is rather memorable)

Santino Marella (friggin’ hilarious – and we have matching mustaches!)

Bret Hart (Damn right)

Edge

… let’s just see who’s available, eh?

Looking forward to Monday,

Kev

It’s Monday, January 4th, 2010.  Total Nonstop Action (TNA) wrestling has a special Monday night showing where they premiere their new figurehead boss: Hulk Hogan.  They are promising BIG surprises.  On the other side (MY side) World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) brings out the legendary Bret “The Hitman” Hart for the first time live on RAW in over 12 years.  Here are my thoughts as I watched them (TNA was three hours and RAW was two.  as a result I watched the first hour of TNA then watched RAW in its entirety, then went back to TNA.  I won’t split the shows up in review).

Raw stars out with a kick-ass video with highlights of Bret’s WWF career followed by the Montreal screwjob and Shawn Michaels urging Vince to allow Bret to host…and HERE COMES BRET!

Hell… he walks out and stops at the top of the stage and I instantly tear up.  Amazing.  They tinkered with his entrance music. I’m sure Vince called it “updating”.  I call it “bullshit”.

Bret: “Well I guess Hell’s frozen over.”  His hair’s a bit thinner and grayer and his voice is a bit like gravel but man… it’s him.  Bret says that he tried several times over the past twelve years to come back but Vince said that the timing wasn’t right.  That’s funny because pretty much everybody knows it was Bret who wasn’t ready to come back.

Nice “Welcome back” chant.

HOLY FUCK.  Bret’s callling out Shawn.  Small tension but it slowly turns into a lovefest.  They shake hands and there’s a great tease for the superkick from Shawn, but they hug.  Shawn’s music plays as he leaves?  Bret now calls out Vince!  Vince is too cowardly to accept however, and we get a plug for Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston and DX vs. Jericho and the Big Show.

After commercial we see Vince about to enter his office.  He was “in a meeting” which is why he didn’t answer Bret’s call, but Vince says that HE will call out Bret later on the show (on his terms).

First match of the show is part of a tournament to determine a new women’s champion.  It’s one of the Bella Twins vs. Maryse.  Maryse wins in a mercifully short match.  I’m ready for more Bret, please.

The Miz comes out in street clothes with the United States championship.  He’s AWESOME!  Miz gives some weird and creepy smack talk to Maryse who…seems to like it?  Miz is on commentary for a four-way match to determine the number one contender to his championship.  MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs… I’ll find out after the commercial?

OK, there’s also Carlito and Mark Henry.  I would really like Carlito to win but we’ll see what happens.  Man, these guys are not working well together.  Some really bad spots.  MVP wins after the Playmaker.  I’m ready for more Bret, please.

Jericho and Big Show backstage!  If they don’t win the championship Jericho is off RAW “for good”.

Jericho:  I’m not leaving Raw.

Big Show: I don’t want you to go!

Jericho is going to meet with Bret!  Cut to commercial.  Fozzy (featuring Chris Jericho!) have the official song for the Royal Rumble!

Jericho is trying to get Bret to be the special referee for the tag title match.  Ha!  Jericho says he can put Shawn Michaels in the Walls of Jericho and Bret can “let instinct take over” (and call for the bell ala Montreal).  Bret wants nothing to do with it.  He calls Chris a hypocrite, makes fun of how he whined and cried while training at the Hart dungeon and sends him off.

Cut to Triple H and Hornswaggle (the DX mascot).  Trips is telling Hornswaggle that he can play with all the WWE toys he wants as long as Shawn and Trips beat Jericho and Show tonight.  ENTER Santino in a Chris Jericho wig.  Santino FUCKING HILARIOUSLY spouts out some incorrect catchphrases of Jericho’s.  Trips sicks Hornswaggle on Santino like a dog.  Santino:  “Good luck at the sucking it”.  cut to commercial.

DX enters for the title match.  I REALLY want Jericho and Show to win.  It’s funny to see Hornswaggle do the X-Pac DX crotch chop when X-Pac himself is on the other show tonight.  So, will the Hart Dynasty come in and cost DX the titles?  Show reverses a double suplex attempt, nice.  Friggin’ commercial again?

Whoa… sure, it’s “The Tooth Fairy”, but The Rock is in a movie with Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal?  Good for him!  Here’s hoping HE guest hosts sometime soon!

Jericho pulling out the Hogan hand to ear?  Hot tag to Shawn who goes to work on Show.  Flying forearm doesn’t drop Show!  Another with no luck!  Dropkick to the knee does the trick.  Jeez, huge chokeslam by Show onto Shawn but no pinfall.  DARNED near close fall on Trips by Jericho.  Codebreaker!  But Jericho doesn’t cover right away and Shawn interrupts the pin  Jericho boots Hornswaggle!  Jericho has Trips in the Walls of Jericho but Shawn superkicks him.  Jericho is pinned and is gone from RAW.  That sucks.

Here comes Big Show as Jericho is laid out.  Trips and Shawn throw in some verbal assaults Chris’s way.  Show just walks away from his partner!  Jericho is dazed in the ring.  Jericho takes the walk of shame up the ramp. 

Randy Orton is at Vince’s door.  He offers a deal:  Randy kicks Bret in the head and puts him out of action.  As a reward Vince puts him in the Royal Rumble at number 30.  Vince won’t forget about when Orton attacked him and his family.  He denies the request and firmly warns Randy to never confront him again.  Pretty good – nice and intense…and realistic.  Orton is pissed off.  He walks down the hallway and is confronted by his stablemates.  They give him the same ultimatum he gave them last week: If you can’t beat your opponent tonight we’re kicking you out of Legacy and also kicking the hell out of you.  Nice!  Good to see them standing up to him.  After commercial and –

Here comes Sheamus!  He’s the champ, dontcha’ know?  Evan Bourne comes out to challenge for the title.  Sheamus says that if Evan beats him tonight he’ll give him a title shot at the Rumble.  And damn – it really looked like Evan had him after one minute… but he DIDN’T!  Crowd chants for Cena because they are fools.  Aww, Sheamus pins Bourne.

Very nice little tribute to Dr. Death Steve Williams who passed away in the last week.  Bret confronts Vince (or is it the other way around?) NEXT!  Aaaand the video package again, this time with extended Montreal footage and discussion.  Damn, I screwed up.  It wasn’t NEXT.  Kofi vs. Orton is next.  Of course Vince and Bret will finish the show (duh!).

Rhodes and Dibiase watching from ringside.  Orton is thrown to the outside but they don’t offer any help and ANOTHER DAMNED COMMERCIAL!

What is it about Cody Rhodes that looks so weird?  Is it his hair?  Kofi and Randy work really well together!  RKO finishes Kofi off.  Cody and Ted look disappointed.  Awesome. 

After commercial we learn that Mike Tyson will be hosting RAW next week from Minneapolis, Minnesota!  And Vince comes to the ring.  He wishes us a Happy New Year and says that there is no reason to call Bret out.  Bret and Shawn put the Montreal incident in the past so that means that he is finished with it as well.  Vince tries to change the subject to discuss Mike Tyson hosting next week but Bret comes out WITHOUT his crappy music.  Bret takes his jacket off… TINY gut.

Vince starts kissing Bret’s ass but also wants to get some things off his chest, like the idea that “You screwed You”.  Vince would like an apology.  The fans don’t seems to think that is appropriate.  Bret mentions that the two words Vince wants to hear are much different from the two words Bret wants to say.  Vince starts buttering Bret up which can only mean that the big hurt is going to finish it…   Vince wants to induct Bret’s dad, the legendary Stu Hart into the WWE Hall of Fame.  Vince thanks him for all Bret’s contributions and all the thrilling moments he’s given the WWE Universe.  Vince shakes Bret’s hand.Vince raises Bret’s hand.  They pose to each side of the ring.  Vince is totally going to clothesline Bret….  but he doesn’t.  Instead he kicks him in the gut!  Or was it the nards?  Couldn’t tell from this angle.  Vince leaves Bret recovering in the ring and the show ends with Bret looking at Vince in the aisle and he’s pretty disgusted.

NOW TO TNA IMPACT (this review will be shorter)

Nice video over the history of the company.  The new backstage announcer Bubba the Love Sponge interviews idiot fans outside the building.  They are knobs.

The first match is a steel asylum match with six X-Division (high flying) wrestlers.  It’s in a cage and the winner is who can escape through the hole in the top (which would seem rather difficult even with NO competitors trying to stop you).  So get this, the guys are working hard and hitting all their spots.  The crowd is very vocal in its support for Alex Shelly (let’s go Shelly!) and for the company in general (TNA! TNA!) and for this style of wrestling (X-DIVISION!).  So Homicide get’s a baton and nails everybody in the ring causing…a no-contest?  In a cage match?!?  The crowd VOCALLY – in UNISON – chants “THIS IS BULLSHIT”.

NICE JOB, TNA.  Your first match in your special with Hulk Hogan?  The episode of Impact you are desperately trying to get everybody to watch and it has your fans chanting “this is bullshit”.  Yeah, you’ve really got the pulse of your fans.

OK, so Homicide has knocked everybody out and he is CLEARLY supposed to go through the top of the cage, but he CAN’T DO IT!  I’m telling you – it looks really difficult.  The guys in the ring improvise and start beating on him, then cue the music.  Out comes Jeff Hardy to brawl with Homicide.

Fuck Jeff Hardy.  What an ungrateful prick.  I can’t say it enough.  FUCK JEFF HARDY.

Back from commercial and Kevin Nash is sleeping through an interview.  Nash says that Hogan was his first mentor?  Don’t tell that to Shawn Michaels you lying sack of crap!

Next up is the TNA Knockouts match where ODB defeats Tara for the championship.  This is very nice, as ODB is the sister of a friend.  Congrats, Travis!  ODB gets the pin when she pulls Tara’s tights for leverage.  Enough of Tara’s buttcrack shows that TNA cuts away to … a still frame from when the cage was still up? … for just a second.  Tara interrupts ODB’s celebration and knocks her out…followed by setting a tarantula on ODB’s stomach (which I don’t think I could ever do).

We see a limo pull up – and out comes Ric Flair.  Dammit, Flair.  I’d be mad at you but it’s so sad to see you do this.

Mick Foley (who is now a bad guy) is denied entrance to the building and is extremely hilarious in his efforts to get in (Love, Mick!).  Bobby Lashley (who I hate) comes out with his wife Kristal (who I’ve never seen before).  Kristal gets on the mic and I am immediately impressed.  She cuts a promo turning Bobby heel.  She’s great.  I still hate her husband but she can sure talk.

Dumb chicks playing strip poker for ratings.  Great.

SCOTT HALL and SEAN WALTMAN (the former X-Pac) try to get in the building with no luck.  Hall is pudgy but I’ve seen him worse.  Hopefully the guy takes care of himself.  Shot of the limo approaching.  One guy gets out of one limo and gets into what we assume to be Hogan’s (they couldn’t ride together?).

Back from commercial and Hall and Waltman have got seats now?  They are very excited for Hogan.  How f’n sad:  Hogan’s music is a rip-off of the NWO theme.  Oh, and Hogan’s doing the whole “wearing black and growing a beard” thing.  Luckily no shoe polish…yet.  Hogan is checking out the crowd.  Not quite the 68,000 at Wrestlemania 18, eh Hulkster?

Hogan:  “I’ve been in the back all day long”.  Er…Hulkster…didn’t we just watch you arrive in the limo?  I’m beginning to think he’s dishonest.

Hall:  “Hey, yo” (I’d actually forgotten about that)

Hall and X-Pac want to party, but Hogan’s all grown up now.

Hey – after I wrote that Hogan said “It’s time that we all grow up”!  I’m PSYCHIC!!!

Here comes Kevin Nash.  He’s got to side with Hall and X-Pac, right?  Yes, he does.  Eric Bischoff comes out… and the crowd erupts?

X-Pac says his line.  Eric starts to talk.  X-Pac slyly (as slyly as you can ON TELEVISION) hands the microphone to Kevin Nash (because it’s Nash’s lines are next after Bischoff’s).  Silly.

Bischoff tears up the show format given to him from the producer and produces a new one.  And STING IS IN THE RAFTERS!!!

Seriously?

Woman’s tag title match.  I’m fast forwarding.  Sad, because it’s probably a good match but I’m really getting burned out here.  While randomly checking in with the match, the crowd is chanting “This is awesome!”.  Hamada and Kong for the win – new champs!  It probably was pretty good.

Val Venis shows up at the chick strip poker game.  Good lord.

Mick wants in!  The security guards won’t let him in but he’s got another plan.  The Nasty Boys are here!  Raven and Stevie Richards do the job to Matt Morgan and Hernandez.  Daffney looks nice and zombie hot!  The Pope (the former Elijah Burke) is greeted by Orlando Jordan (now with hair!).  Desmond Wolfe beats The Pope.  Aw, man!  I wrote that before the match actually started and was WRONG!  Pope over Desmond with a small package.

Here comes Jeff Jarrett.  I like him.  He walks around the back.  Finally meet up with the champ, A.J. Styles!  He’s facing Kurt Angle at the next PPV.  Is that it for him tonight?  Bischoff (sarcastically) applauds him.  AHH… Styles vs. Angle is TONIGHT!  Smart move. 

Jarrett hits the ring for an interview.  Jarrett sings the praises of the company and the hard work of many of the wrestlers.  Hogan interrupts and tells him that nobody cares.  Is Hogan turning heel?  The crowd is chanting bullshit.  Hogan is a damned fool!

Christy Hemme is a terrible actress.  Mick has forced his way in!

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe.  Samoa Joe friggin’ rules, why isn’t he in the title picture?  He shouldn’t need a chair to beat Abyss, but he did.

The Nasty Boys can’t get in?  Bubba lets them in.

KURT ANGLE.  He wants the championship back.

The Nasty Boys have found Team 3Ds locker room.  That should be one helluva brawl when it happens!  the Nastys are cussing aplenty… and SPRAY-PAINTING! “Now that’s Nasty!”

Plenthy of time for the main event.  Very smart to do so with Kurt vs. AJ.  AJ wins after a springboard 450 splash.  Some masked guy interferes but is eliminated.  “People LOVE masked people who interfere in matches, Brother!”

Hogan’s got something to say after the match, but a PA runs up to him and Hulkster’s gotta’ RUN, Brother!

Mick is looking for Hogan backstage but finds Bischoff.  After threatening Bischoff the oWo (old World order) start beating him up.  Hogan runs backstage and looks at everybody. 

Seriously, thats how the show ended. 

Sorry Heath.  RAW takes the night.

So I’m about a third of the way through watching RAW last night when it hits me that I’m actually ENJOYING at and looking forward to the rest of the show!  So far we had Jesse Ventura come out as the night’s Host.  He was doing a fine job and told us that we’ve been seeing too many of the same faces in the Championship scene.  He set up a battle royal filled with wrestlers that have never had a title shot.  The winner of the battle royal will receive a shot at his brand’s championship at the next Pay Per View, “TLC” (Tables, Ladders and Chairs).

SWEET!  Somebody gets a chance to break through to the top of the scene!  As much as I love Shawn Michaels and Triple H, there’s only so many times I can get excited about seeing one of them fight in the main event, and goodness knows the world doesn’t need another Cena/Orton match.

Side note about Orton:  I’m really liking him!  I disliked him personally for a few years because he’s been pretty immature behind the scenes, but getting married and having a kid has done him good.  I can feel good about liking him again.

We got a pretty good Cena / CM Punk match.  My favorite part was before the match when Punk told Cena, “Through these sober eyes, I can see you.”  I’ve mentioned before how awesome I think Punk is, but I don’t think I’ve brought up how bored I am of Cena.  BORED.  Turn him bad and I’ll like him again, but I was pissed off when he pinned Punk.

CM Punk is Straight Edge. That means he's better than you.

I think the thing I was most excited about was the DX vs. Hart Dynasty match.  Here we have TJ Wilson and David Hart Smith (the son of the legendary British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith).  The Hart Foundation in the past had huge issues with DX (Shawn Michaels and Triple H) and this would be the first time in over TEN YEARS that DX would face members of the Hart Family.  There was so much history between the two factions and I couldn’t wait to see this explored!  You’ve got the legitimate screwing over of Bret Hart for the WWE title at the Survivor Series in 1997, you’ve got Shawn beating the British Bulldog for the European title in the UK after Bulldog dedicated the match to his dying sister, and so much more!

The Hart Foundation... coolest group ever (provided you disregard Davy Boy's fanny pack)

We get to the match.  NOT ONE WORD of the history between the two groups is mentioned.  You could have had TJ and Smith do an interview before the match and really tear into DX vowing revenge for all sorts of deeds.  Nothing.  DX wins a five minute match after a superkick from Shawn and a pedigree from Trips.

Fuck you guys.  Seriously.  Fuck you guys.

Then Chris Jericho came out and talked smack to DX.  Jericho is exactly what he says he is: the best in the world at what he does.

Jericho!

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and thankfully we all got to relive the Survivor Series moment from 1990 when the Gobblygooker was unleashed!  Back in ’90 they had a big egg that Mean Gene promised us would hatch at the pay per view and every week speculated as to what could be in it.  I speculated as well!  I was sure that Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake was ready to return and would POUNCE out of that egg ready for action!  Some people thought that Ric Flair was coming in.  Instead we got this:

Yup.  This friggin’ turkey-or-what-have-you popped out of the egg, danced around the ring, did some gymnastics, then clucked off, not to be seen or heard from for many years until the fine folks at WWE realized it could be brought out as a joke to remind us of how goofy things were at one point.

SPEAKING OF GOOFY: there was a six woman tag match featuring the Pilgrims (the bad team) vs. the Indians (the good team).  Normally I fast forward through woman wrestling matches because it’s pretty much tna but I was watching the show live and didn’t have the option.  And it’s a good thing, because the entrance music used for the Indians was TATANKA’s old entrance music!!:

Oh, the hilarity!

So speaking of hilarity and golden moments from the past, it was decided that Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon would do commentary on the main event – just like they did in the ’80s!  Vince even put on his tuxedo with the red tie!  It was amazing and … well, just all sorts of amazing!

Now the main event itself?  The next challenger to John Cena’s championship is this guy:

If he wins the title at the ppv I’ll eat my hat.

I’ll purchase a hat, then eat it.  But best of luck to you, Sheamus.  Hopefully this gives you some credibility and is a jump start to a big career.  You’ve been handed the ball – how far can you run with it?  Personally I’m skeptical but keeping an open mind.

I had texted my friend Ray who was still at work and told him, “best RAW in years”.  I was clearly wrong, but was going off the potential of the night.  A fresh contender for the title?  A DX/Hart match?  Jesse and Vince on commentary (granted, that did pay off). 

This night should have ruled.  When the part of the night that got me most excited was a tie hearing Tatanka’s old music and seeing the Gobbledygooker… there’s trouble a’brewin’.

Well Enough is Enough, and it’s Time for a Change!

Kev

So a couple of weeks ago CM Punk beat Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match.  The kids were heartbroken.  I’m actually disapointed he’s leaving as well.  He has matured greatly in the last year or so and has had some GREAT matches, but he needs some time off and I certainly don’t blame the guy for it.
Jeff Hardy as WWE Champion

Jeff Hardy as WWE Champion

Unfortunately, Jeff has

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STOP THE PRESSES!

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I do most [heck, all!] of my blogging at work.  I started writing this blog on Thursday, September 10th, but work has been so busy that I stopped exactly at that spot above and haven’t had a chance to continue it until now.  So – Thursday I am writing about how much he has matured in the past year…and Friday he gets arrested for steroids – BUNCHES of steroids, painkiller and cocaine possession.  The guy has a massive legal battle and very possibly jail time ahead of him.  This blog wasn’t really going to be about him, however, so I’ll continue more or less in the spirit I started in.                         – – – – – continuing

CM Punk came into WWE as a good guy.  In real life he lives a drug free lifestyle.  No drinking, no drugs.  His “Straight Edge” lifestyle had been briefly brought up in interviews but he didn’t really harp on it that much.  In the past few months they decided to turn him into a bad guy.  They did this by having him preach to us fans about our “hedonistic” and “drug hazed” lives.  Now with me not being a drug guy I loved it, but even if it wasn’t about drugs I would have thought he was awesome.  He has transistioned into a very memorable and confident bad guy.  The feud with Jeff Hardy was inevitable, as Jeff (in real life) has had two strikes against him with the WWE Wellness Policy, which has been widely thought to be (but never officially acknowledged) for recreational drug use.  Punk REALLY dug into Jeff over the last couple of months and it was highly entertaining.

Anyway, CM Punk beats Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match one Friday on Smackdown.  The following Friday, however, the show starts with Jeff Hardy’s music and his video on the big screens!  Has Jeff shown up regardless of his loss? 

CM Punk dressed as Jeff Hardy

CM Punk dressed as Jeff Hardy

When Punk came out, he looked so similar that it fooled a lot of the crowd.  He did the little dance  and hand gestures that Jeff would do when he came out.  ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.  He even kept it up as he got in the ring and went to the corners and did Jeff’s pose, then walked around clapping as Hardy would do.  A lot of the young kids in the crowd went CRAZY!

"I can't believe he's going to be here!!"  One of the kids is wearing Jeff's armbands.

"I can't believe he's going to be here!!" One of the kids is wearing Jeff's armbands.

But then…and this is where I start my path to hell…those kids realize it’s not him and EXTREME disappointment builds.

This poor kid realizes that it isn't Jeff Hardy in the ring, but rather his nemesis CM Punk.

This poor kid realizes that it isn't Jeff Hardy in the ring, but rather his nemesis CM Punk.

This picture is too brilliant for words.  Suffice to say, the kid is none too pleased with Mr. Punk.

This picture is too brilliant for words. Suffice to say, the kid is none too pleased with Mr. Punk.

I call this "Acceptance".

I call this "Acceptance".

So, Punk is the Champ on Smackdown.  Here’s to a long reign for the man.  Hopefully he can last and headline Wrestlemania!

Your World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk

Your World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk

 

Since I’m talking wresting, here are some other random thoughts..

* Coming in as the SECOND best thing in wrestling right now is Chris Jericho.  I don’t know if there has ever been anybody as CONSISTENTLY awesome as this guy.

Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho

* I get a kick out of the way that Ted Dibiase (jr.) does his fist drops just like his father, The Million Dollar Man (more Like Father Like Son!).

Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase, Jr.

Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase, Jr.

* I needs me more Santino!

Santin-Os - Breakfast of the Champions!

Santin-Os - Breakfast of the Champions!

* William Regal is still a badass and I hope he wins the ECW Championship (sorry Christian – you are awesome as well!).

William Regal

William Regal

* And finally ladies and gentlemen, the future of professional wrestling: John Morrison:

John Morrison

John Morrison

WHATCHA’ GONNA’ DO?!?!

Kev