UPDATE!!  They changed a match, so I am changing a prediction.  Vladmir Koslov has been taken out of the 8 man tag match and has been replaced with Kofi Kingston.  As a result, I am changing my prediction to Kofi’s team winning.  He DID just lose the Intercontinental Championship to Wade Barrett, and I figure a win at Wrestlemania might make it up to the guy.

And now…back to the blog in progress:

It’s time for the biggest show of the year, The Showcase of the Immortals, this… … … is WRESTLEMANIA!

Before we get to what’s on the card, let’s get to what’s NOT on the show which is the Money in the Bank match. This match has happened for the last six Wrestlemanias and proves very exciting each time.  Eight guys in a match fight to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase containing a shot at their choice of championships for any time during the next year.  This is a highlight every year and they fuckin’ pulled it.

Big mistake, guys.  The Money in the Bank match has always had a very special feeling to it.  When you were watching it you knew this was a big deal.

Wrestlemania’s guest host is The Rock.  This was a GREAT addition.  He says he has some very special things planned for the night and dammit, I believe him.

Wait… let’s try again.

[Whew, that’s better!]  On to the matches.  I copied this list from Wikipedia – changing the order of the top three.

1 Triple H vs. The Undertaker 

I just found out that Triple H will be coming out to the ring to a Metallica song.  I’m not sure which.  At first I though it might be “Enter Sandman”, but after thinking about it realized that it HAS to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls”.  Not just because it’s my favorite song from my favorite band, but because it is rather fitting for the match.

As far as the match itself goes, I think it’ll be very exciting.  It won’t be nearly as exciting as The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels from the last two years, but lots of fun and definitely worth the main event assuming it is the last match of the night [which is no guarantee – see Number 2].

PREDICTION:  The Undertaker.  No way Trips is ending The Streak.

No Holds Barred match

2 The Miz (c) vs. John Cena 

This is the only other match that could be the last of the night, but I’m putting it second because that’s where I personally think it belongs.  I feel bad for The Miz.  He’s the friggin’ WWE Champ for Pete’s sake, but all anybody can talk about is Rock vs. Cena.  Having said that, I think I’ll be pleasantly suprised, and The Miz will find a way to get past Cena to remain Champ…likely due to The Rock’s interference.  My prediction largely hangs on my theory that Rock vs. Cena will take place at SummerSlam and I don’t believe that would be a title match.

I really HOPE Rock vs. Cena is at SummerSlam, because SummerSlam is in Los Angeles this year and you can darned well bet that I’ll be there!

PREDICTION: The Miz.

Singles match for the WWE Championship

3 Edge (c) (with Christian) vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Brodus ClayRicardo Rodriguez

Somehow this match is lacking something.  I can’t place it.

I see Alberto Del Rio winning the championship after Christian turns on his longtime pal.

PREDICTION:  Alberto Del Rio.

Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship[11]
4 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger

I’m happy for Jerry “The King” Lawler, finally getting his Wrestlemania match after all these years in the business.

Lawler piledrives Cole.  Austin stuns Swagger.  Austin stuns Cole (post match).  Beer.

PREDICTION: Jerry “The King” Lawler via pin following piledriver.

Singles match with special guest referee Steve Austin
5 Randy Orton vs. CM Punk 

Man I fuckin’ love CM Punk.  Unfortunately, I don’t see both Randy and Cena (WWE’s present and future faces of the company) losing their respective matches.

PREDICTION: Orton wins via RKO.

Singles match
6 Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes 

I’m more interested in finding out what stupid costume Mysterio will be wearing than the match itself.  I’m ambivalent about it but am open to them impressing me.

PREDICTION: Rey Mysterio wins and takes off Cody’s mask to reveal… a normal looking face?

Singles match
7 Nicole “Snooki” PolizziTrish Stratus and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool (Layla and Michelle McCool) (with Vickie Guerrero

PREDICTION: I will get a snack during this match.

In all seriousness (and I WAS serious), I don’t recall a high-profile “celebrity” match where the “celebrity” lost.

PREDICTION (addendum):  Trish, Morrison and Snookie win. Also, I will feel bad for Trish.

6-person mixed tag team match
8 Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan 

I think Daniel Bryan is frigging awesome.  Nothing against Sheamus – who is actually doing really well these days – but I really want to see Daniel go over here.

PREDICTION: DANIEL BRYAN wins via submission in the best WRESTLING match of the night.

Singles match for the United States Championship
9 KaneBig ShowSantino Marella, and Vladimir Kozlov (with Tamina) vs. The Corre (Wade BarrettEzekiel JacksonJustin Gabriel, and Heath Slater

Santino is my favorite comic relief of the WWE.  Unfortunately, I don’t see The Corre losing here.

PREDICTION: The Corre wins, then Santino and gang do some wacky stuff after the match.

8-man Tag Team match

I dunno’.  The card isn’t AMAZING.  But it’s the biggest show of the year, ya’ know?

I’m sure there will be many fun non-match segments throughout.  I’m hoping Diesel shows up.  What else you got, Vince?

sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY,

Kev

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