So I’m on the way home from work yesterday.  I needed to stop at the Verizon store because my charger is messed up and every night while charging my phone I have to finagle the cord in various positions until I see the little “plug” icon light up. 

It’s a huge pain in the ass.  A new charger will cost me 30 bucks.

Anyway, I’m walking down the sidewalk and pull my Blackberry out when I see the red message light blinking.  I bring up the menu and can tell that it’s an email from my old Yahoo account, which usually means I have a BREAKING NEWS update from 

I signed up for these BREAKING NEWS updates shortly after 9/11.  I was concerned about the state of the world and wanted to be on top of things. 

So I open my email and this is the BREAKING NEWS text update I had:

Judge finds actress Lindsay Lohan in violation of probation

[Image NOT included with update]

9/11 this ain’t.

So that’s it.  I’m done with MSNBC.COM’s BREAKING NEWS updates. You are now unsubscribed.

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT LINDSAY LOHAN and any news organization which desires to be taken seriously should not be distributing gossip as news.

I SHOULD have unsubscribed when I got the BREAKING NEWS updates about Tiger Woods.

I SHOULD have unsubscribed when I got the frequent BREAKING NEWS updates about Michael Jackson’s doctor.

There are countless times over the years where I have checked my BREAKING NEWS emails and grimaced while thinking, “Really, MSNBC.COM?  You are sending this out as news?”  This was the straw that broke my back.

Even though I generally don’t give a shit about sports, I understand getting BREAKING NEWS emails about no hitters in baseball, Olympic medal winners (SO frequent during the games), and World Cup tournament updates.  I understand that there are many Americans who are passionate about these events.

Anybody passionately following Lindsay Lohan’s legal troubles can eat a dick.

I guess MSNBC.COM feels that they need to appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator in order to get more hits to their website.  In doing so you are making the world a shittier place.

Lowest Common Denominator?  Sorry MSNBC, but I ain’t it. 

Now excuse me as I’m going to watch some professional wrestling.

Good Night and Good Luck,


  1. casinoskunk says:

    Did they at least let you know that they may be able to cap the oil leak by monday?

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