Posted: October 5, 2009 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,
A terrible vice of mine

A terrible vice of mine


Yesterday I relaxed a bit.  I was playing video games (Civilization) on my XBOX 360 for what seemed like hours.

It SEEMED like hours because it was, in fact, several hours.  When stuck in that activity I don’t want to move.  I don’t want to get up to go to the bathroom and I sure don’t want to get up and make a healthy breakfast or lunch.  I had planned on making some eggs (free range, or course) and toast, but was having a REAL difficult time beating the game as the British on Deity level (Deity is the hardest).  It got so bad that I switched to the French, which due to starting the game with a Cathedral helps expand your empire faster.  STILL couldn’t do it!  I later realized that I had completely forgotten to switch to a Monarchy which doubles the culture in your capital.

Civilization - so many ways to win and lose

Civilization - so many ways to win and lose

ANYWAY, after scraping myself out of bed to use the restroom I used up the last of the soap and decided that I would do at least one productive thing this lovely Sunday.  I would go to Target and by soap.  Maybe while I was there… I might pick up a pizza.  I ended picking up soap, a Digiorno (it wasn’t delivery) Rising Crust cheese pizza… and a bag of chocolate Hostess Donettes.

I ate half the damn bag of Donettes when I got home while waiting for the pizza to cook.  Then I ate about 3/4 of the pizza.  It’s almost like I have to prove to myself that I’m over my divorce (yet still to officially begin, but definitely happening).  When Laura first moved out in March, I kind of / sort of starved myself for 3-4 months.  It was a conscious decision to do so with no practical rationale behind it.  It was pretty unhealthy, yet I joked to myself about it quite a bit.  It was weird.

But that time is clearly over!  It’s almost like I’m stuffing myself as if to say, “See, everybody!?  See how healthy I am?”

I wanted to expand the peripheral of my day beyond Target, so I called my good pal and writing partner Dave.  He hadn’t seen Zombieland yet and I went down to Hollywood to see it with him for my second time (still LOVED it, and Dave immediately said that he didn’t want to have to wait for the sequel).  I didn’t even realize, but Dave lives literally about two blocks from Runyon Canyon Park (and about a quarter mile from Mann’s Chinese Theater).  He brought up going for a hike and I agreed – and I was so glad we did!

Runyon Canyon Park (I did NOT take this)

Runyon Canyon Park (I did NOT take this)

We got a good hour’s worth of exercise done and yet I’m not even sore today.  Also – I took the Metro Train down there and each entrance comes out at a massive set of stairs.  The kid in me tells me that I must accept the challenge to run up all the stairs each time I take the train, and I DO!  No stopping – even when the stairs are broken up by even pavement.

The staircase at the base of the North Hollywood Metro station (I DID take this picture)

The staircase at the base of the North Hollywood Metro station (I DID take this picture)

So I figure my sluglike activity and poor nutritional decisions have been balanced out by the Runyon Hike and the staircase challenge… but the day isn’t over yet.  I got home at about 8pm and starting making dinner.  It was a reasonable pasta/vegetable dish, but it was taking a while to cook.  While waiting and getting ready to watch Curb and Entourage, I heard the Donettes calling me.  I was hungry!  I calculated that I had nine minutes to go until my “healthy” dinner was done.  You know how when you’re trying to ration out how many sweets you should eat at any given time?  Most people would say, “OK, I’ll have just two donettes and that’s it”.

I decided to eat nine minutes worth of donettes.

The bag of donettes is empty and in the garbage, along with any semblance of self control I had.

I really don’t want my gut to get any bigger, but eating makes me feel…fuller?  At least I have Rick around to tell me I’m getting fat.  Good ol’ Rick.

Gotta’ figure it out (so to speak).

Are you gonna’ finish that?


  1. jesus satan says:

    say! my name is dave! also, you forgot about the tub ‘o pepsi you drank.

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