Now…OBVIOUSLY I claim no right to any merchandising. CM Punk is a WWE character (I think? Anyway, certainly not mine), and I even stole the “Not Impressed” concept from “Spock Is Not Impressed” (as detailed in my blog link).
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However…as you may have guessed I’m a HUGE WWE fan and have been since ’87 when I was thirteen years old and WANTED Hogan to beat Andre at WM3, but was concerned that Andre was just too big.
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Do you think that maybe as a result of my idea resulting in some financial gain for WWE I could get a few tickets and backstage passes to the WWE show at Staples Center this Friday in Los Angeles? This wouldn’t be “payment” or anything, just kind of a high-five between us as a result of a fun/silly/wacky idea coming to fruition.
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My IDEAL “Not Impressed” photo would be not photoshopped, but in fact CM Punk giving me and Ralph the “Not Impressed” look in person, and I would title it “CM Punk Is Not Impressed With Nerds Photoshopping His Face”.
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I went to Comic-Con this past July and was dressed as Randy Savage and came >THIS CLOSE< to that picture actually happening. This is detailed here:
ALSO – my internet cohort Mike (creator of “Where’s Randy Savage”) promoted this concept very early on his extremely popular site. CMPINI would be nowhere without him. He resides in Cleveland, Ohio. Maybe a few tickets and backstage passes could find their way towards him as well the next time you come to the 216 area code?
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So that’s me. Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you!
They wouldn’t let me touch their swords, so I wouldn’t let them touch mine.
My plan for Halloween 2011 had always been to save up some money and finally buy a Ghostbusters costume – complete with an accurate proton pack. It was going to be costly, but dammit…I’ve wanted it since I was ten years old! In fact, back in ’84 I made and put up flyers in my neighborhood offering up my services as a Ghostbuster. In the midst of drawing the logo on one of these flyers I was suddenly hit with a thought: What if somebody actually called me because they had a terrifying spook, spectre or ghost? I stopped for a moment and considered and came to the only reasonable conclusion: I would just have to take care of it. Back to the flyer. Cut to May of last year. I was putzing around on the internet at work and came across just outright lousy and terrible news. Randy “Macho Man” Savage had passed away. I soon came to the conclusion that my Halloween costume would simply have to be about him. A large gathering of friends were going to Chicago for the wedding of our great friends Justin and Kathy. They were having a Halloween-themed wedding and Savage was invited!Everybody thought it was a blast…with the exception of the mother of the bride (but she didn’t cause a stink or anything).
As Comic-Con approached this year, it only made sense that I would pull the robe out of the box in the closet and show Randy off again. I began to grow out the beard and touched up the costume with some reasonably passable boots. I hadn’t been to Comic-Con since 2008. I didn’t really have the urge to make the trip out last year, but then was EXTREMELY jealous when my friends got their picture with Matt Smith from Doctor Who!
And somehow that pic got topped…when Matt Smith showed off the pic on his own cell phone TO THE WORLD on the Graham Norton Show!
In another universe (the WWE Universe), another big nerd passion of mine was being represented at Comic-Con: CM Punk would be at a panel and signing autographs with Sheamus and Zack Ryder. I really wanted to get his impression of the silly photoshop page I have set up for him: CM Punk Is Not Impressed
I aim high. I set up two goals for myself this past weekend.
1) Get a picture with CM Punk and Sheamus while dressed as Savage
a) CM Punk gives the “Not Impressed” look in the shot
b) Punk and Sheamus drape their belts over each of my shoulders in the shot [hey - I SAID I aim high!]
2) Get a picture one-on-one with Matt Smith
In my head I saw both of these pictures as being real possibilities.
I left Anaheim on Thursday at about 4:30am and it took about 90 minutes to arrive in my 30 dollar per day parking spot. Whereas I didn’t expect my friends to be awake yet (they were) I decided to change in the car.
HEY - do you ever want to feel like an asshole? Prance about an unfamiliar town for several blocks wearing a pink speedo and a robe at 6:30 in the morning.
The line to pick up badges was ricockulously long. Eventually I got in and went up to stand in line for the WWE / Mattel panel. I was about 8th in line. Once we got in I got a spot in the 2nd row. These guys were close!
After a presentation from the Mattel guys, Zack, Sheamus and Punk were introduced. Punk didn’t have his title with him (there’s a chunk gone from the perfect picture). They did kind of a standard Q and A, then Punk and Zack took off and Sheamus continued until Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez barged in to build some hype for their match on Sunday.
Alberto was frigging hilarious.
He got heat by bringing out an “Issue #1″ of a comic book (I think it was Superman) and ripping it up. I’m in the video grinning like an idiot – unapologetically.
After the panel, most of us headed to the Mattel booth where the three performers were signing. THIS was my chance to see what Punk thought of CM Punk Is Not Impressed, and hopefully get a pic with him being “Not Impressed” with my costume. While waiting, my new WWE friend Dianne (and fan of the Punk page) saw Dolph Ziggler walking the floor. She pretty much freaked out and ran off to get her pic with him while I kept her place in line. She came back with a great shot which inspired me to pretty much do the same. I approached him and asked (in my Savage voice), “Could The ‘Macho Man’ get a picture with ‘The Show Off’?” He smirked and said, “sure”. I believe he was geniuinely amused.
Eventually we got our face time with the guys signing. Sheamus asked me right away if I used bronzer for the costume. I confirmed this (I’m generally very pale) and Sheamus mentioned it to Punk.
Sheamus: Punk, check it out: this guy’s using bronzer!
Punk: So are you Randy Savage or a gypsy?
Me (about as meekly as I’ve ever sounded): I’m the Macho Man Randy Savage!
Punk (smiling): Oh, OK.
Me (trying to get back on track): Are you familiar with CM Punk Is Not Impressed? Photoshopping you into funny situations?
Punk: I’ve heard of them, yeah. They’re always tweeting me.
Me: Well, it’s me. I was wondering if I could get a picture of you not being impressed with my costume?
Punk: Sure.
Lady in control of line: We’ve got to keep this line moving!
Me: I was just going to get a pic here.
Lady in control of line: We’ve GOT to keep this line moving!
Punk: Sorry, pal.
And that was it. The guy has a schedule to keep and people to see.
After assessing our discussion…what he said, how he said it, general tone of the meeting… I have come to the conclusion that CM Punk couldn’t give two shits about CM Punk Is Not Impressed.
Or to say it another way:
CM Punk Is Not Impressed With CM Punk Is Not Impressed
It was kind of a bummer. I was hoping that he’d dig it or at least get a chuckle out of it, but no such luck. At the end of the day I was just the scrawny dork in a pink speedo and a curtain (which really isn’t far from the truth).
So be it. Zero out of one so far, one to go. I explored the floor a bit and got some fun pics.
My plan was to be Savage on Thursday and Saturday, no costume on Friday, and the 5th Doctor from Doctor Who on Sunday. However, after 8 hours in my Savage gear (and being mocked for it by my hero) I decided to pack it up. The wig made me sweat a bunch, and the costume boots – while looking very cool – were not very good for my feet. I dressed normally and enjoyed the rest of my day as myself.
Friday I walked around a bunch. A BUNCH. I didn’t go to any panels, but observed more costumes and really tried to take in the convention floor.
As the day went on, I prepped for my plan to meet Matt Smith (The Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who). A massive Doctor Who fan, my favorite Doctor is the Fifth Doctor:
I had to shave my beard…and I decided to go crazy and dye my hair blonde. Walking in the Gaslamp District, I found a hair salon to get the work done.
The lady shaved my beard with a straight razor. I anticipated this being a pleasant experience, but I don’t think she’d done it very often. It hurt like a motherfucker.
IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.
AND…the blonde dye job turned more into a strawberry blonde dye job.
GREAT.
So Saturday comes along. My girlfriend makes the trip from Anaheim and brings my (Bob Mitsch’s) 5th Doctor costume. While getting dressed…I broke the celery in half.
I still haven’t told Bob. He’s going to fucking flip.
Time was ticking. I got rapidly dressed and started to look for a nearby store to purchase some tape to mend the celery. I thought I knew where a CVS was but was having trouble. It was 80something degrees out, I’m running late, and physically running around San Diego in a shirt, sweater and jacket. Eventually I find another store with the goods and head back to the hotel to hopefully meet Doctor Who.
“How does this guy expect to meet Matt Smith and get a picture?”, you may be asking yourself.
Good question. There were literally thousands of people at the convention who certainly had the same desire. But how could that practically happen?
Well…I’m a pretty lucky guy. A friend of a friend of a friend is on a television show (a pretty cool one at that!) and was on the TV Guide Fan Favorites panel – WITH Mr. Matt Smith. I met this person at a party on the 4th of July. When I found out they were on the panel with The Doctor I made it clear: “You’re going to help me meet Matt Smith!!” My friend said that they would see what they could do.
The panel was in the hotel I was staying at, which was a definite plus. Me and a couple of friends were hanging out as close to the entrance to the panel as we were allowed. It got down to maybe ten minutes before the panel was set to begin and finally my TV pal showed up and led us all into the green room with everybody.
This was pretty darned exciting.
I enter the room. It is filled with activity, people talking and having a great time. Sitting down to my right is Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Castle, Dr. Horrible, nerd icon). A bit to my left is the BEAUTIFUL Jasika Nicole (Astrid from Fringe), straight on is Joel McHale (Winger from Community and Talk Soup)…and a bit further to the left is Doctor Who himself, Matt Smith.
I am the only person in the room wearing a costume.
I casually approach Matt’s general area as he is talking to a fellow, and his friend immediately notices my costume and enthusiastically approves. Matt kind of waves me over and his friend moves along.
Kev: Listen, I’m going to be honest, here. When you were cast as The Doctor I was like, “They’re fuckin’ Twilighting my show!”
Matt: “Who’s THIS guy?”, right?
Kev: But – you’re REALLY good! You’ve totally sold me. You’ve got it and I’m very happy you’re The Doctor.
Matt: Thanks, man! We should get a picture!
I asked my girlfriend to take our picture. Matt was going for the traditional “arm around the shoulders” shot, but I asked him if we could pose for our action/adventure series. I then took a picture of her with him. Matt told me to have a great Comic-Con and took off to get ready for the panel.
Couldn’t have gone better. The dude was very nice, gracious, and generally super cool. And I didn’t make an ass of myself.
Everybody started heading to the panel, but I really needed to process the event. I wouldn’t have been able to sit still for an hour and didn’t want to embarrass my TV pal who got me in.
THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEKEND.
…and then there were Zombies.
NOT NOW, SKELETOR!
As promotion for the Walking Dead, a part of PetCo Park (not the actual field but the interior perimeter) was turned into an obstacle course filled with zombies. You and your group (ours was about 25 people) need to navigate from one “Safe Zone” to another.
This video from Gamespot doesn’t do it justice but it’s the best I have to offer. IT WAS AWESOME!!
(I’m not in this):
I had initially planned on staying well into Sunday for Doctor Who day at the Con, but man…The lines for the panel (and autographs, I heard) had already been started at 10pm the previous night. I didn’t really feel the need to spend the night sleeping on the ground for a chance to catch a glimpse of the dude I had met, had a small discussion with and took a picture with earlier in the day.
At 10:45pm Saturday night I left San Diego.
As of 11:30am on Wednesday, I almost have complete use of my legs back.
But it was worth it to get the pic with Matt. Hopefully I’ll be able to dye this back to my natural color, or else I’m bringing out the clippers.
This is the first issue of WWF Magazine that I ever bought. Actually, my Dad bought it for me. It was 1988, I was 14 years old, and for the next ten years or so I would eagerly anticipate what I recall was the first Tuesday of every month so I could get my hands on the newest issue.
Eventually I would add Pro Wrestling Illustrated to my “Must Buy” list. In college, frequently my friend Alex and I would go to Shinder’s in Crystal, MN on New Wrestling Magazine Day. We would buy our OWN copies of WWF, WWF RAW, PWI, and depending on what articles were featured we would also get The Wrestler, Inside Wrestling and any others that caught our eyes. We would either go back to his house, Taco Bell, Arby’s or wherever and eat and read.
“Did you get to THIS article yet?”
“No.”
“It’s pretty good.”
“Nice.”
Now 38, I generally don’t buy wrestling magazines anymore. I spend enough money (a couple of PPVs a year, the winged eagle championship, putting together a 1988 Randy Savage costume for Halloween and Comic Con) and time actually watching wrestling and perusing websites like Prowrestling.net, PWTorch.com and 411 Wrestling in addition to listening to the excellent podcasts by John Pollack and Wai Ting of REVIEW-A-WAI to get my fill. I also spend plenty of time goofing around with my photoshop fun on CM Punk Is Not Impressed on FACEBOOK and TUMBLR.
So the new edition of WWE Magazine (June 2012) has short article on “Four Must-See WWE Tumblrs” with a couple of sentences on each…CM Punk Is Not Impressed is number 3 (and Mike Frankito’s Where’s Randy Savage? - also on FACEBOOK is number 1)!
I know a lot of people are probably thinking, “So what? Your goofy little hobby page got two sentences in a wrestling magazine.”
To be honest, that’s probably the correct response. But when you’re a passionate nerd and you get even the smallest recognition from the object of one of your obsessions…it’s pretty darn cool. I think Mike put it best when he said, “Pretty awesome feeling when what you’re a fan of is a fan of you.”
Thanks again to Mr. Michael Frankito and Mr. Ralph Apel for helping make this happen.
So now that cool things are happening that I never really thought would, I guess it’s about time I met Bill Murray.
CM Punk's Wrestlemania debut: An extra playing a Chicago "Gangster"
I purchase two pay-per-views a year: The WWE Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. And Wrestlemania is UPON US!
I think this year’s Wrestlemania has a lot to offer. Let’s dig in.
Darnit Randy, I said "Dig *IN*"!
The Rock vs. John Cena
I see John Cena winning here. I’m not his biggest fan, but I just don’t think they’ll have Rock come back WITHOUT putting over whoever he was going to face. This match has a lot of spark. Insiders are saying that there is legit tension between the two. It there really? Maybe. But both of these guys are doing there best to make me BELIEVE it, which is the most important part.
Bottom line: Cena pins The Rock. If he makes The Rock tap out I’ll shit my pants.
Extra fun: Bret Hart mentioned on Twitter that he would happily show The Rock how to properly apply The Sharpshooter. Even back in the late ’90s and early 2000s my friends and I lamented how poorly Dwayne puts that on.
Nope.
The Undertaker vs. Triple H
Hell in a Cell
Shawn Michaels as special referee
Triple H and I are PALS! Chyna and I...not so much.
This is the match that I’m most confident about on the card. The Undertaker will win this match. I’ll go further and say that I don’t believe Shawn Michaels will “screw” anybody out of a victory or anything like that.
My friend took this pic when we were at a house show in Anaheim in 1997. The heat on these guys was INCREDIBLE.
It’s disappointing to hear so many people say, “Oh, I don’t want to see that match again. I saw it twice already.”
Yeah.
They had a match at Wrestlemania 17. AND IT WAS AWESOME.
They had a match least year. AND IT WAS AWESOME.
Were they Flair / Steamboat (who had wrestled hundreds of times and still had great matches which internet nerds salivate over)? No. But they have their own style of match that features two bad-ass wrestlers that nobody would fuck with and have the audience wondering what’s going to happen next.
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
* WWE Championship match
Jericho and I are PALS!
This shit is gonna’ rule. My guess is that Punk retains the championship (my confidence level is 75 percent). But you’ve got these two guys who really know how to work a crowd. Personally I’m more excited about this match than anything else on the card. The thing is that I kind of want Jericho to win just to ensure that this feud continues. But again – my guess is that Punk wins decisively.
Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus
World Heavyweight Championship match
Daniel Bryan. AGREEMENT! AGREEMENT!
I think that this will also be a great match. I predict Sheamus will take the championship (85 percent). I would LOVE it if Bryan kept the title but don’t see it happening on Sunday. Bryan is SO GOOD playing the evil vegan and AJ is playing her “Miss Elizabeth” role quite well. Maybe if I’m lucky, Daniel will win the title back at the next pay-per-view.
Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show
Intercontinental Championship match
I don't have a picture of myself with Cody or Show, so here's me with Cody's brother. He was very nice.
I’m just happy that the IC title is being defended at Wrestlemania! This hasn’t been a given the last few years. Cody’s doing a great job as the jerk, and I think the audience will really want Big Show to bring the belt home. I’m guessing that Big Show will do that, but am only about 65 percent sure.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
Aw, man… I really don’t think that this match will be good. Orton vs. Punk had a great finish last year, but Kane is no CM Punk. I guess that Randy will win, and I will want this to be over quickly so as not to irritate my non-wrestling fans who will be at the house with boredom.
I beg these two to prove me wrong.
Team Teddy [Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Booker T] VS
Team Johnny [David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre]
A lot of people are whining about this match. The way I see it, if they’re not going to have a Money in the Bank match (which I would FAR prefer), this is the next best way for some of the guys to get on the card. Battle Royals have kind of been done to death and at least this match kind of means something.
Even without my qualifiying statements above, I think this should still be fun. I absolutely love Santino, Kofi’s great, Zack should be fun, I love Booker, Ziggler’s friggin’ awesome, I think Swagger is underrated and should be pushed better, and I still haven’t stopped digging The Miz since before he won the WWE championship. I’m happy Mark Henry has a spot.
[For those of you keeping track, R-Truth, The Great Khali, David Otunga and Drew McIntyre are people that I really wouldn't pay to see.]
My guess here is that Team Johnny will win. I look over my predictions and see that I’m calling most matches for the “good” guy (although I do consider Rock, Cena, Taker and Trips to be neutral). Bad guys have to win SOMEWHERE and this seems to be as good a place as ever.
Maria Menounos and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres
One wrestler and three airheads, one of which is allegedly a celebrity. My prediction on this is that I will use the restroom and likely grab a snack.
And that’s all that’s been announced as of now, but there are other things to consider:
** Will Triple H come out to his Conan the Barbarian costume?
** Could Living Colour play CM Punk’s theme live on his way out? (There have been no rumors to suggest this but I think it’d be awesome)
** Will Jim Ross call any matches? Cuz he SHOULD.
** What surprise WWE Legends will show up? We need to see Hot Rod somewhere, don’t we? Or the Iron Sheik? They need to start promoting Legends House, right?
A lot of my friends on Facebook who loosely know me (but don’t KNOW know me) will frequently ask, “Who’s this CM Punk guy? Is he a wrestler or something?” Even the people who KIND OF know me are aware that I’m a pro-wrestling nut… and yes, CM Punk is a professional wrestler.
So here’s the deal – starting from the beginning:
I came across a Facebook page called Where’s Randy Savage. They are also on Tumblr.The idea is that legendary Randy “Macho Man” Savage is photoshopped into various moments throughout the past, present, and (I’m sure) the future.
I don’t think I need to say anything else. You now know that it’s the GREATEST FUCKING IDEA OF ALL TIME. Any time a new Savage pic was posted, I would go back into the batch I’ve already seen just to laugh some more.
Some time last year I set up a Tumblr page. I made this page simply as another way to promote my Doctor Who fan music video that I was working on. I’d never really played with Tumblr, but came across a page called “Spock Is Not Impressed”. They are also onFacebook. It’s a very similar idea to the Savage page, but while the Savage page uses a variety of shots of the Macho Man, Spock is done with the same, disapproving look. This page is pretty fun as well. This one is my favorite:
So, I’m at home watching WWE RAW, having a swell time watching CM Punk and Triple H speaking angrily at each other. Trips says something like “I could totally kick your ass right here and now… but I won’t”. Then Punk turned to the camera and gave us THIS look:
CM Punk is not impressed with Triple H
I laughed. Oh boy, did I laugh. I rewound it several times and laughed each time. I called my girlfriend into the room and had her watch it… a few more times. Wanting to never forget this hilarious moment, I took a picture of the TV screen with my camera and continued with the show.
The next morning, after doing enough work to justify a break, I logged onto to Tumblr to post some behind the scenes pics of the Who video to drum up interest. The first thing on my timeline was the Spock photo with Jay Leno… and it hit me like a slap in the face.
I thought to myself, “Can I do a … … … CM Punk is Not Impressed?”
After about 45 seconds I thought, “Sure.”
No disrespect to the owner of the Spock page, because I can’t stress enough that I truly enjoy the stuff they put out, but neither of us is doing anything particularly original. Where’s Randy Savage is the first of its kind that I know of.
Now the bummer is, I only have access to Microsoft Paint at work. At first I found either goofy things or important moments in history (like both other pages) and merely stuck Punk in front of it. Kinda funny. Then I started putting Punk’s face over the face of someone in the pic. I’m particularly happy with the Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day (with Ned) shots. But as pleased as I allowed myself to be… quality-wise they were still kind of weak.
Then I got a Facebook message from some guy named Michael Frankito. As it turns out, Michael is the creator of Where’s Randy Savage. He told me he thought the idea was funny, and asked if he could help out. Well heck yeah! Michael not only made a few superb quality Punk pics, but he promoted my page on his Savage page.
The page went from a couple hundred fans to several thousand in a day, and the pics got much better.
Then enter my good friend, Ralph Apel.
Ralph’s not really a wrestling fan, but he enjoyed the idea. Ralph is very creative… and he ALSO has Photoshop! I think the first pic that Ralph offered was the one at the top from Raiders of the Lost Ark, followed by the Predator pic. Just solid, hilarious stuff. He has since studied up on Punk and actually likes him, which has inspired him a bit I think. Apart from the amazing originals he makes, Ralph has also given me a standing offer – he’ll do pretty much any idea I give him and he’ll make it look good.
So that’s where we’re at! Three guys who like to laugh, Photoshopping goofy pictures. Thanks to everybody for spreading the word and I hope everybody is having fun!
UPDATE!! They changed a match, so I am changing a prediction. Vladmir Koslov has been taken out of the 8 man tag match and has been replaced with Kofi Kingston. As a result, I am changing my prediction to Kofi’s team winning. He DID just lose the Intercontinental Championship to Wade Barrett, and I figure a win at Wrestlemania might make it up to the guy.
And now…back to the blog in progress:
It’s time for the biggest show of the year, The Showcase of the Immortals, this… … … is WRESTLEMANIA!
Before we get to what’s on the card, let’s get to what’s NOT on the show which is the Money in the Bank match. This match has happened for the last six Wrestlemanias and proves very exciting each time. Eight guys in a match fight to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase containing a shot at their choice of championships for any time during the next year. This is a highlight every year and they fuckin’ pulled it.
Big mistake, guys. The Money in the Bank match has always had a very special feeling to it. When you were watching it you knew this was a big deal.
Wrestlemania’s guest host is The Rock. This was a GREAT addition. He says he has some very special things planned for the night and dammit, I believe him.
Wait… let’s try again.
[Whew, that's better!] On to the matches. I copied this list from Wikipedia – changing the order of the top three.
I just found out that Triple H will be coming out to the ring to a Metallica song. I’m not sure which. At first I though it might be “Enter Sandman”, but after thinking about it realized that it HAS to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls”. Not just because it’s my favorite song from my favorite band, but because it is rather fitting for the match.
As far as the match itself goes, I think it’ll be very exciting. It won’t be nearly as exciting as The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels from the last two years, but lots of fun and definitely worth the main event assuming it is the last match of the night [which is no guarantee - see Number 2].
PREDICTION: The Undertaker. No way Trips is ending The Streak.
This is the only other match that could be the last of the night, but I’m putting it second because that’s where I personally think it belongs. I feel bad for The Miz. He’s the friggin’ WWE Champ for Pete’s sake, but all anybody can talk about is Rock vs. Cena. Having said that, I think I’ll be pleasantly suprised, and The Miz will find a way to get past Cena to remain Champ…likely due to The Rock’s interference. My prediction largely hangs on my theory that Rock vs. Cena will take place at SummerSlam and I don’t believe that would be a title match.
I really HOPE Rock vs. Cena is at SummerSlam, because SummerSlam is in Los Angeles this year and you can darned well bet that I’ll be there!
Man I fuckin’ love CM Punk. Unfortunately, I don’t see both Randy and Cena (WWE’s present and future faces of the company) losing their respective matches.
I’m more interested in finding out what stupid costume Mysterio will be wearing than the match itself. I’m ambivalent about it but am open to them impressing me.
PREDICTION: Rey Mysterio wins and takes off Cody’s mask to reveal… a normal looking face?
I think Daniel Bryan is frigging awesome. Nothing against Sheamus – who is actually doing really well these days – but I really want to see Daniel go over here.
PREDICTION: DANIEL BRYAN wins via submission in the best WRESTLING match of the night.
So I’m about a third of the way through watching RAW last night when it hits me that I’m actually ENJOYING at and looking forward to the rest of the show! So far we had Jesse Ventura come out as the night’s Host. He was doing a fine job and told us that we’ve been seeing too many of the same faces in the Championship scene. He set up a battle royal filled with wrestlers that have never had a title shot. The winner of the battle royal will receive a shot at his brand’s championship at the next Pay Per View, “TLC” (Tables, Ladders and Chairs).
SWEET! Somebody gets a chance to break through to the top of the scene! As much as I love Shawn Michaels and Triple H, there’s only so many times I can get excited about seeing one of them fight in the main event, and goodness knows the world doesn’t need another Cena/Orton match.
Side note about Orton: I’m really liking him! I disliked him personally for a few years because he’s been pretty immature behind the scenes, but getting married and having a kid has done him good. I can feel good about liking him again.
We got a pretty good Cena / CM Punk match. My favorite part was before the match when Punk told Cena, “Through these sober eyes, I can see you.” I’ve mentioned before how awesome I think Punk is, but I don’t think I’ve brought up how bored I am of Cena. BORED. Turn him bad and I’ll like him again, but I was pissed off when he pinned Punk.
CM Punk is Straight Edge. That means he's better than you.
I think the thing I was most excited about was the DX vs. Hart Dynasty match. Here we have TJ Wilson and David Hart Smith (the son of the legendary British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith). The Hart Foundation in the past had huge issues with DX (Shawn Michaels and Triple H) and this would be the first time in over TEN YEARS that DX would face members of the Hart Family. There was so much history between the two factions and I couldn’t wait to see this explored! You’ve got the legitimate screwing over of Bret Hart for the WWE title at the Survivor Series in 1997, you’ve got Shawn beating the British Bulldog for the European title in the UK after Bulldog dedicated the match to his dying sister, and so much more!
The Hart Foundation... coolest group ever (provided you disregard Davy Boy's fanny pack)
We get to the match. NOT ONE WORD of the history between the two groups is mentioned. You could have had TJ and Smith do an interview before the match and really tear into DX vowing revenge for all sorts of deeds. Nothing. DX wins a five minute match after a superkick from Shawn and a pedigree from Trips.
Fuck you guys. Seriously. Fuck you guys.
Then Chris Jericho came out and talked smack to DX. Jericho is exactly what he says he is: the best in the world at what he does.
Jericho!
It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and thankfully we all got to relive the Survivor Series moment from 1990 when the Gobblygooker was unleashed! Back in ’90 they had a big egg that Mean Gene promised us would hatch at the pay per view and every week speculated as to what could be in it. I speculated as well! I was sure that Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake was ready to return and would POUNCE out of that egg ready for action! Some people thought that Ric Flair was coming in. Instead we got this:
Yup. This friggin’ turkey-or-what-have-you popped out of the egg, danced around the ring, did some gymnastics, then clucked off, not to be seen or heard from for many years until the fine folks at WWE realized it could be brought out as a joke to remind us of how goofy things were at one point.
SPEAKING OF GOOFY: there was a six woman tag match featuring the Pilgrims (the bad team) vs. the Indians (the good team). Normally I fast forward through woman wrestling matches because it’s pretty much tna but I was watching the show live and didn’t have the option. And it’s a good thing, because the entrance music used for the Indians was TATANKA’s old entrance music!!:
Oh, the hilarity!
So speaking of hilarity and golden moments from the past, it was decided that Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon would do commentary on the main event – just like they did in the ’80s! Vince even put on his tuxedo with the red tie! It was amazing and … well, just all sorts of amazing!
Now the main event itself? The next challenger to John Cena’s championship is this guy:
If he wins the title at the ppv I’ll eat my hat.
I’ll purchase a hat, then eat it. But best of luck to you, Sheamus. Hopefully this gives you some credibility and is a jump start to a big career. You’ve been handed the ball – how far can you run with it? Personally I’m skeptical but keeping an open mind.
I had texted my friend Ray who was still at work and told him, “best RAW in years”. I was clearly wrong, but was going off the potential of the night. A fresh contender for the title? A DX/Hart match? Jesse and Vince on commentary (granted, that did pay off).
This night should have ruled. When the part of the night that got me most excited was a tie hearing Tatanka’s old music and seeing the Gobbledygooker… there’s trouble a’brewin’.
Well Enough is Enough, and it’s Time for a Change!
So a couple of weeks ago CM Punk beat Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match. The kids were heartbroken. I’m actually disapointed he’s leaving as well. He has matured greatly in the last year or so and has had some GREAT matches, but he needs some time off and I certainly don’t blame the guy for it.
I do most [heck, all!] of my blogging at work. I started writing this blog on Thursday, September 10th, but work has been so busy that I stopped exactly at that spot above and haven’t had a chance to continue it until now. So – Thursday I am writing about how much he has matured in the past year…and Friday he gets arrested for steroids – BUNCHES of steroids, painkiller and cocaine possession. The guy has a massive legal battle and very possibly jail time ahead of him. This blog wasn’t really going to be about him, however, so I’ll continue more or less in the spirit I started in. – - – - – continuing
CM Punk came into WWE as a good guy. In real life he lives a drug free lifestyle. No drinking, no drugs. His “Straight Edge” lifestyle had been briefly brought up in interviews but he didn’t really harp on it that much. In the past few months they decided to turn him into a bad guy. They did this by having him preach to us fans about our “hedonistic” and “drug hazed” lives. Now with me not being a drug guy I loved it, but even if it wasn’t about drugs I would have thought he was awesome. He has transistioned into a very memorable and confident bad guy. The feud with Jeff Hardy was inevitable, as Jeff (in real life) has had two strikes against him with the WWE Wellness Policy, which has been widely thought to be (but never officially acknowledged) for recreational drug use. Punk REALLY dug into Jeff over the last couple of months and it was highly entertaining.
Anyway, CM Punk beats Jeff Hardy in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match one Friday on Smackdown. The following Friday, however, the show starts with Jeff Hardy’s music and his video on the big screens! Has Jeff shown up regardless of his loss?
CM Punk dressed as Jeff Hardy
When Punk came out, he looked so similar that it fooled a lot of the crowd. He did the little dance and hand gestures that Jeff would do when he came out. ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. He even kept it up as he got in the ring and went to the corners and did Jeff’s pose, then walked around clapping as Hardy would do. A lot of the young kids in the crowd went CRAZY!
"I can't believe he's going to be here!!" One of the kids is wearing Jeff's armbands.
But then…and this is where I start my path to hell…those kids realize it’s not him and EXTREME disappointment builds.
This poor kid realizes that it isn't Jeff Hardy in the ring, but rather his nemesis CM Punk.
This picture is too brilliant for words. Suffice to say, the kid is none too pleased with Mr. Punk.
I call this "Acceptance".
So, Punk is the Champ on Smackdown. Here’s to a long reign for the man. Hopefully he can last and headline Wrestlemania!
Your World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk
Since I’m talking wresting, here are some other random thoughts..
* Coming in as the SECOND best thing in wrestling right now is Chris Jericho. I don’t know if there has ever been anybody as CONSISTENTLY awesome as this guy.
Chris Jericho
* I get a kick out of the way that Ted Dibiase (jr.) does his fist drops just like his father, The Million Dollar Man (more Like Father Like Son!).
Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase, Jr.
* I needs me more Santino!
Santin-Os - Breakfast of the Champions!
* William Regal is still a badass and I hope he wins the ECW Championship (sorry Christian – you are awesome as well!).
William Regal
* And finally ladies and gentlemen, the future of professional wrestling: John Morrison:
