Like Father Like Son

This is Tyler.

Tyler is nine years old and is the eldest son of Erin and Joe [Joe previously seen here]:

While playing Nazi zombies with Joe and the guys on XBOX live over the last few months I would frequently hear Joe say things like, “Hey Ty, wanna’ grab me a snack?” followed soon by, “Heeey, thanks, buddy!”  So we knew Tyler was watching his father play this incredibly violent video game – but it’s cool, Tyler’s a bright kid and isn’t going to be emotionally scarred by what he sees.

There are certain phrases that we get used to using while slaying the undead.  If we have a gun (the shotgun, for example) that is no longer effective, most of us will say, “I’m going to the box!” [The "box" is where we can trade and purchase other guns].  When Joe is done with his gun, his method of saying “I’m going to the box” is frequently “I’m going to get rid of this shotgun”.  When we play a game where things go awry, we all die super early, and we get sent back to the main menu, Joe will often let out a basic statement: “That sucked”.  Matter of factly.

A big part of the game is making sure you have the proper guns (My favorite is the MG42 – it’s AWESOME!).  The gun box distributes our weaponry randomly (I think?  We haven’t found a way to get the weapons we need on demand).  Anyway, when Joe gets a gun that he likes and the kid is nearby we will hear, “Look what I got, Ty!”

So Tyler got an XBOX 360 of his own in his room apparently, and I shot up some zombies with him yesterday.

I spent a healthy portion of my time laughing.

It was just Tyler and I as opposed to the ideal 4 person team.  We played the new board, “Der Riese” a few times.  The first time we played that we didn’t get past round three I heard:

Tyler [matter of factly]:  That sucked.

It’s almost as if he was the Pinnochio to Joe’s Geppetto.  It was ridiculous!  There was more.

Tyler:  I’m gonna’ get rid of this BAR [machine gun].

Now Tyler has a little brother Mason.  No, he didn’t ask Mason to get him a snack…yet, but I did hear:

Tyler:  Hey Ma[son], look what I got!  It’s the Browning.

We didn’t get farther than round eleven yesterday, but I need to get to at least round thirteen with him.  Somehow he and Jeremy got to round 12 and they both had friggin’ sniper rifles.  I must do better than Jeremy.  Tyler – we’re going to hit round 20, darnit.

The Cat’s in the Cradle with the PPSH,

Kev

Joe is angry.

This is Joe.

Joe is angry and it’s not entirely my fault.  You see, the Call of Duty: World at War NAZI ZOMBIES game only allows four players to be in a game at the same time.  That sucks.

I just want to make one thing perfectly clear:  My ideal team is Kevin, Jake, Jeremy and Joe.  Ray is obviously next on the list, but a big part of the enjoyment for me is connecting with my guys back home.  Ray is a very good friend of mine.  He is Latin and have long hair.  I see Ray every day, so that explains why his doesn’t make the Dream Team. 

So two nights ago I get a text from Joe suggesting we play at 9:30pm (Minnesota time).  I happily agree and log on right on the button.  As it turns out, two OTHER players that Joe is friends with but I have never met are in an XBOX party with him.  I join the party and the game begins.  The interesting thing about the XBOX parties is that you can have a large number of people in the “party” while you are all playing in different games.  This is important to remember for later.

It’s ALSO important to know that since Jake, Jeremy, Joe, Ray and I are now spectacularly good at this game and as a result a single game can last for an hour and a half to two hours.  Of course, just a minute or two into my game with Joe and two strangers Jeremy and Jake log on.

So here’s my dilemma: 

* stay in the game with Joe and his two friends who I don’t know and who HARDLY TALK ANYWAY (communication is VITAL in this game – we’re fighting zombie hordes for crying out loud!)

or

* quit this game early on, join Jake and Jeremy in a game and call Ray in.

Well, I chose the latter.  I told the everybody I was leaving their game, too, but they didn’t respond!  Two minutes into the NEW game where I had THREE friends (as opposed to just one) I hear “Hey, did somebody leave?”  Sorry, buddy, but I don’t know you.

Now, this wasn’t a COMPLETELY shitty move on my part to leave Joe in a game with two players.  Heck, Jake, Ray and I made it to round 26 without a fourth!  Within ten minutes Joe and his partners had logged off.  They just gave up.  The rest of us had a blast!

Yesterday Jake, Jeremy and I got the above picture of Joe sent to us along with the following text message:

“No more playing with that Antonio Banderras knockoff, you bastards!  Whores!  Spaniard lovers!  Vlad and Mauve [Joe's two friends that I don't know] are impossible to play with”

I need to point out that being left out of a game with reliable friends has happened to me also!  I agree, it is very frustrating.  I had logged on just a couple of minutes late and they plugged one of Joe’s friends into my spot.  I decided to have a little fun with it, though.  I joined the party so I could talk with all of them and I listened carefully.  I really wanted the game to end so that maybe somebody would drop out and I could join.  Whenever somebody needed cover to go out into the danger zone I told them that I would cover them.  It’s just another voice, you know?  They didn’t realize that I wasn’t in the game so they would run out thinking they were safe.  I would hear “HEY!  WHOSE COVERING ERIC?!?!”  Well, nobody was covering Eric.  Or, “Somebody cover the staircase, I’ve got to reload” and I would reply, “Got it!”

I didn’t have the staircase.  It’s important that somebody cover the staircase.

Sadly my attempt at sabotage didn’t work.  That game went on for EVER and I think I logged off.

Anyway, the bottom line here Joe, is that if you want in the game you’ve got to ignore those guys that I don’t give a shit about.  If we have my ideal team of four then I won’t have any need to holler over to Ray to join us.

The Great Communicator,

Kev

Map Pack Three is LOVE

After playing the new map pack for Call of Duty: World at War, I have come to the conclusion that the Zombie level (Der Riese) was made as a love letter to the fans.

A tactical overview of the new zombie map

First things first: The “Pack a Punch” machine.  After you activate all the teleporters the barrier to this machine will open.  Sure, it costs 5,000 points but it is well worth it!  Just go up to the machine and spend away.  The upgraded Wonderwaffle (or however the hell you spell it) doubles the ammo and has a farther impact.  Even the flamethrower is worth having after the upgrade!  We all love the upgraded Ray Gun (with RED ammo!).  I’m a huge fan of the PPSh upgraded (new name: The Reaper!).  We have yet to upgrade each weapon and eagerly anticipate how the Panzersheck looks after the update (it is one of the two shittiest weapons, taking second place to the freakin’ KAR-88).

This guy is toast...

Next:  The teleporting is just plain fun.  Defend an area with a teleport, and when the heat gets turned up too much just hop in and head safely back to the main frame.  Not to mention – the teleport itself BORROWS HEAVILY FROM DOCTOR WHO thank you very much!  There is a definite nod to the time vortex as you travel.

Finally, they have made the perfect place to dig your boots in and fight.  [After you've got some good guns] go to where the gun box is first located and open the gate.  As you approach the teleport follow take a right.  At that point there is a hallway.  Go all the way in and GET READY!  There is a decent hole where you can safely blast zombies that are approaching your area.  A gang of four or even three can hold up there indefinitely – until you run out of ammo.

Anyway, Der Riese is a fuckin’ blast.  I can’t wait for them to put out some more.

Kev

Edited much later that night:  I can’t believe I forgot about the Monkey Bombs!  Get this map pack!

Killing Time (time must die)

Can you think of any group more terrifying than the Nazis?  How about Zombies?  Or what if – GASP! – you encountered NAZI ZOMBIES?!

Call of Duty: World at War (which I own on the XBOX 360) has done something very good.  In addition to the regular game there are three maps where you and up to three other people can fight off hordes of the Hitler-loving undead as well as zombies of the Imperial Japanese Army.  These zombie maps are TOP NOTCH!

I’m extremely happy when the guys log on to XBOX live and we shoot the shit – and a significant number of zombies.  To give you a visual, here is a look at the guys:

JOE

This is the best picture I could get of Joe.  He is actually just off to the right (a good friend of his is to the left).  Joe is the best player of all of us (although Jeremy has a higher point total as of today).  The frustrating part about playing with Joe is that he will happily finish off a zombie that you have been working on in order to get the big points for himself.

JAKE

Jake has great strategy, but like Joe he seems to enjoy pissing off Jeremy and I by horning in on our zombie action.  Listen guys:  We all have our own windows with Zombies approaching – keep to your OWN!

JEREMY

Jeremy is a pleasure to play with.  He stays focused and will generally help out the team by using his earned points to open doors for all of us – even though Jake and Joe usually have more points.

And here’s ME:

So – the zombie levels are AWESOME!  The only problem is that there are only 3 zombie levels in the game.  You see, technically the zombie levels are just an add-on to the main game.  The thing is:  The zombie levels are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE REAL GAME!  So this a cry out to Activision:

Put out a new map pack STRICTLY for ZOMBIE action!  At least six new maps!  And if possible, please make it so more than four people can play at a time.  We have to make more room for Ray.

The flamethrower looks awesome, but in later levels is rather useless.

Every few rounds you will be attacked by Dogs from Hell! Do NOT be caught alone – group up in a corner and fight together.

Killing them Loudly,                                           

Kev