OR… Doctor Who and the Memories of a Time Lord

Or… Whatever you want to call it

Finally it is done!

Ok, well… that’s kind of a lie.  I am writing this on Thursday, October 13th and will fill in details as they become available.  As it truly stands (for me – in this moment), there are still some audio fixes in the beginning and the whole final scene to shoot with the First Doctor and Susan.

A couple of years ago now, my friend Bob Mitsch had made connections with the owner of the TARDIS console from the 1996 TV movie featuring the Seventh and Eighth Doctors.  Paul Salamoff, the aforementioned owner, was kind enough to let us visit the console – this amazing piece of nerd history – and take some pictures with it.  Bob Mitsch himself has put together a number of amazing costumes over time including Doctors, companions and monsters.   Standing at the console and considering all of the resources available to us, I knew that we had to shoot something.

But what?  Living in LA, I thought it might be neat to do something that embraced the scenery.  I wanted to do something new and am pretty sure we haven’t really seen The Doctor in Hollywoodland before.  I wrote a twenty-something page script.  The idea was that a former companion of The Doctor’s had written down their adventures wtih him and sold them as Hollywood scripts, becoming a successful film executive.  I liked it.  I mean, I thought it was really cool, but it was a bit adventurous.  It ended with a music video montage of Doctors Four and Eleven along with Amy Pond exploring the Los Angeles landmarks.

It was too long.

Also – Bob and others have put serious effort into some pretty amazing costumes.  If we have costumes for each of the eleven Doctors, I didn’t want to limit it to just two or three of them.  Bob ALSO has an amazing Cyberman costume that I’ve wanted to put in some sort of project.

I also had access to a Dalek.  I really have no idea why we didn’t use it.

Paul Salamoff, Bob Mitsch, Athena Stamos, CJ DeAngelus, Dalek Pete, Kevin Kittridge. Funnily enough, Mitsch doesn't actually play the 7th Doctor in the short, but brought his costume to get some shots of 7 and 8 at the Console.

AND NOW it is DECEMBER 12th…  I had to rewrite the last scene because I couldn’t score an edit bay (as a location).  I’m pretty happy with it.

So here are the preemptive notes:

* The majority of people in this video are not actors; merely passionate fans doing me a favor.

* ”Your wig for Eleven is terrible!”  - - I know.  It’s what we were stuck with.

* ”Your accent is terrible!”  – - I know.  Perhaps the First Doctor was right:  maybe I shouldn’t try the accent if I can’t do it convincingly.

* ”The 5th Doctor’s hair is supposed to be blonde!”  – -  I know.  I wasn’t going to ask Brad to dye his hair.

* “You used a semi-colon improperly in the first preemptive note!!” - – Sorry, you’re probably right.

* I don’t play guitar.  It shows.  Sorry.

* “The TARDIS time rotor isn’t supposed to have those white arcing lights on it!”  – - How do you know?  You’ve only seen it in one adventure.

* ”The Master’s TCE shrinks people to DEATH!  And he can’t bring them back to normal size, what the heck?!” – - Hey now, we’re trying to have fun.

* “How come when the 2nd Doctor come out of his timeline he’s in color, but when the 1st Doctor is seen he is still in black and white?” – - I’ll explain later.

…

I’m sure other notes will arise.  Please keep in mind that I’m far from perfect and we were trying to have fun.

So GREAT thanks to Paul Salamoff http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/PaulSalamoffFanPage

Not only does Paul own the 8th Doctor’s TARDIS console [and that Dalek], but he’s a very accomplished writer and producer of science fiction.

And also the great Bob Mitsch.  Not only did he supply the majority of the costumes, but he helped wrangle fans from his nerd army to help play characters in this.  He’s also a great friend.

And another great friend, the incomparable Rick Schultz.  Rick shot this, edited it, did all the special effects and also co-directed.  Furthermore, he’s more creative than I am.  When I first had the idea for this, the band was going to be playing in an all-white environment (all E-Space like), and the TARDIS was just going to have a black background.  Rick convinced me that he could make them cool.  To be honest, I think a big part of the reason he took this on was to see what he was capable of doing with the effects (but mostly he did it simply to help me out).

And here’s the official cast list:

First Doctor:  Scott Sebring

Second Doctor:  Bob Mitsch

Third Doctor:  Ewan Anderson

Fourth Doctor:  Bob Mitsch

Fifth Doctor:  Brad Hansen

Sixth Doctor:  Aubrey West

Seventh Doctor:  Chad Knueppe

Eighth Doctor:  CJ DeAngelus

Ninth Doctor:  Kevin Kittridge

Tenth Doctor:  Blevin Blittridge

Eleventh Doctor:  Shmevin Shmittridge

The Master:  Michael Weinstein

The Cyberman:  Bob Mitsch

Kevin Kittridge:  Herman Vreshi Von Drake

Susan Foreman:  Jody Houser

Zoe Harriot:  Teri Samuels

Jamie McCrimmon:  Van Donovan

Nyssa of Traken:  Katharine Forman

Ace:  Erin Logan

Amy Pond:  Athena Stamos

So I hope you like it.  If you find yourself in the Los Angeles area, you should check out my improv group.

http://www.inrareformcomedy.com/

I Want To Be There Again,

Kev

So Bob… you writing an adventure for us to shoot or what?

Sort of.

The announcement of the winner is moments away.

I accept the award, and the presenter is very happy for me.

"Never give up on your dreams!"

Realsies would be nice,

Kev

You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Angry…

Kev

      White House Press Secretary Jay Carney was having a difficult day.  He knew that it would be, but the press’s indignation of not being able to personally question the President was even greater than he imagined.

      “Who are these select few people?” demanded Ed Henry of Fox News.  “Are any of them Muslim?  The American public deserves to know!”

      “I don’t personally have any names – or religions – as of yet.  The President will let me know and I will distribute that information as it becomes available.”  But Mr. Carney did have the names.  He didn’t know the religions, but he definitely knew the names.  Rick Baker was called in at Carney’s own suggestion.  The multi-time Academy Award winner for Achievement in Makeup on “Coming to America” and “Ed Wood” was the first person Carney thought of when the President’s plan was presented.  Ricky Shoaks was the other visitor-to-be.  Mr. Shoaks had personally given vocal lessons to Joaquin Phoenix for the film “Walk the Line” and was in the midst of prepping former “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson for her role as the lead in the remake of “Gone with the Wind”.  Jay didn’t feel that today was the right time to invite speculation as to why in the Hell two behind the scenes stars of Hollywood films were given the privilege of an audience with the nation’s Commander-in-Chief mere weeks before the economy was due to implode.  The Right Wing was already having a field day.

      Bill O’Reilly’s face was ripe-strawberry-red even before the FOX NEWS ALERT had cut back to him.  “Lemme get this straight… we’ve got a financial crisis ready to take this country even deeper into recession and this pinhead is having a staycation?  I want to know who those visitors are and I want to know what they’re doing.”

      Michele Bachmann and her husband Marcus appeared on Fox and Friends the next morning to discuss the matter.  “I truly believe that the Lord our God gave Barack Obama a case of mononucleosis.  The President has been sinning LONG before he was put into office and baby Jesus finally had enough!”

     Marcus replied to his wife’s hypothesis.  “Mr. Obama just needs to pray that mono away.  And cut Social Security.  And what about Mrs. Obama?  Did you see those shoes she was wearing today? HELLO??  The only thing matching her is the ‘OUT’ section of Glamour magazine.  Am I right, people?!”  Michele and the Fox and Friends crew sat and avoided eye contact with each other before throwing to a pre-taped interview with John Edwards’s former gardener.  

      Those who paid $19.95 per month for the ability to stream Glenn Beck’s daily webcast had many of their fears…confirmed?… by their political beacon.  “COULD IT BE that William Ayers is one of those people the President is smuggling in and out of the White House?  I truly believe it is the case.  There is very little doubt in my mind that Obama and Ayers RIGHT NOW are deciding what area of the country into which they want to release their new version of Super AIDS.  And what saddens me most… what … breaks my heart,” Mr. Beck removed his spectacles to allow his tears to fall unrestrained down his cheeks, “is that the American people who I love with all my heart… are just going to let it happen.”

 THREE WEEKS LATER

      The atmosphere mirrored that of a boxing main event years in the making, or a red carpet premiere of a Billy Bieber (Justin Bieber’s younger brother) film.  The press room was PACKED.  Anderson Cooper (anticipating the madness in the space) stood just outside the doorway in a t-shirt that marked every abdominal muscle, ready to cover the story which he thought may be a brawl amongst journalists.  Jay Carney approached the podium. 

      “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy” whispered loudly in his head, but there was no turning back.  This was without question, for better or for far worse, the speech that would define the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama.

      “Thank you all for coming,” he said to the seemingly singular mass of reporters, “I know it’s been a long time for all of us.  However, I would remind you that although he estimated six weeks, the President has put together his plan in half that time.  And now it is my privilege to introduce to you, The President Of The United States.”

      As the President approached the podium, Jason Parks of the Crow River News in St. Michael, MN was having difficulty seeing.  Stationed all the way in the back row, lucky just to be there (and he knew it), Jason could only see that the President’s hair had grayed considerably.  Parks considered that the past three weeks had not been a “staycation” of any sort.  Obama had clearly been working hard.  Frustrated at his poor view, Parks stood on his chair.  There was something else awry… he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

      “Thank you all for your patience,” the President started as his cool blue eyes scanned the room, “Ah’ve been hard at work putting together the finishing touches on what Ah believe will bring this country back to the top of mountain where we belong.”  His mostly grey hair was parted smartly from his left to his right.  His voice resonated through the speakers as former President Clinton’s might have, or a young Colonel Sanders.  He also had a tan.  Not quite as dark as George Hamilton, certainly not as orange as John Boehner, but if Bob Sagat had been to the beach for the weekend their complexion would be comparable.  Barack Hussein Obama was speaking to the press and the American public as a white Southerner.  The President was essentially a 50 year old Andy Griffith.

      Marcus Bachmann went to half mast within six seconds of hearing his voice.

      The President then listed his ideas to resuscitate the country.  There was not a new idea in the ten minute speech.  Heavy tax increases on the top ten percent of earners.  Ending the tax breaks for oil companies.  Bringing the troops back home.  The press was quiet.  Not “stunned” or “shocked” quiet, but “intently hanging on every syllable” quiet.  Mr. Obama then surmised his presentation.  “Now Ahm not a complex mayn.  Ah just think it’s time for all o’ them rich fatcats on Capitol Hill to pay their fair share.  Why should a company that makes BILLIONS of dollars a year pay less – even percentagewise – than a member of the Poh-lice?  The Poh-lice who put their very lives on the line every time they walk their beats.  Especially in Detroit.  So this is a call, and Jesus (praise His name) help us all to restore this country – the GREATEST COUNTRY OF ALL, ‘MERKA – to a new era of glory.  Tax the very rich, to hell with the oil companies, bring our guys and gals home and we RETAKE OUR LIVES!  Thank you, and may God bless ‘Merka.”

      The Press applauded.  They stopped after several seconds, realizing how unprofessional it was, but it wasn’t just Chris Matthews with a chill up his leg.  It was the whole country.

      Steve Doocy from Fox and Friends got an “Obama ‘12” tattoo on his left shoulder blade and disrobed during the show so America could see it.  Ashley Todd (the gal who carved a backwards “B” on her face in an attempt to portray Obama supporters as thugs) carved a REGULAR “B” on her right cheek and matched it with an “O” on her left to show off her political pride.

     “WHO are the people getting in the way of the President trying to DO HIS JOB?!” Wailed Bill O’Reilly, taking minimal breaths while frothing, “The American people ELECTED Barack Obama to the office and these Congressmen keep putting bureaucratic RED TAPE in his way.  And THAT, my friends, is why the members of the United States Congress are our Pinheads of the Week.”

      Glenn Beck had his chalkboard out:

     The President had the country in the palm of his hand.  In the months that followed, the tax rate on the top ten percent tripled.  Those “affected” didn’t notice, except for William Seppuku of San Francisco who decided not to buy a sixth boat this quarter.  Slowly, the economy grew.  Unemployment fell to a national average of 5.4 percent.  The President’s push towards a public option was met with open arms by lawmakers and the nation as a whole became healthier.

     The Tea Party disbanded, declaring, “Our magnificent country is clearly in good hands.”

     Grover Norquist stepped out of the public eye and took up knitting.

     The goddamn birds sang prettier and the flowers smelled better, got it?

      Month by month beginning November of 2016, the former President’s face grew slightly darker.  Month by month, shade by shade, by November of 2017 Barack Obama’s skin had returned to its pre-2011 level and Mr. Baker returned to the entertainment industry.

      And Democratic President Not Joe Biden continued his predecessor’s successes through two terms.

Please pass the BBQ sauce,

Kev

To whet your appetite for the finished product, here are some production stills.  The Dalek will not be in the video (mostly because I was too tired to film any more).

Still haven’t decided what the background for the console room will be,

Kev

This is for a Doctor Who music video short I am filming.  The finished Dalek will be revealed in the video itself.

Check it out – I’m DOING something!

Kev

Now, Brutus wasn’t a very good wrestler.  It’s important to know that.  He was not very good at performing wrestling holds.  What he WAS good at doing, however, was putting his opponent to sleep and cutting their hair.

.

I thought that shit was  H – I – L – A – R – I – O – U – S !!

And then I grew up.  As time went on I began to appreciate the actual art of what they do.  Exit Hogan, Brutus and the Ultimate Warrior – Enter Bret Hart, Curt Hennig, Davey Boy Smith and Shawn Michaels.  These guys would force me to suspend disbelief for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, Hell an hour at a time with the intensity and complexity of their moveset. Let’s face it… watching The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan in a match against each other… we were never asked to suspend our disbelief.  It was, “watch these big muscley guys punch and clothesline each other with big exaggerated movements for a while.”

Cut to modern day wrestling.  The World Wrestling Federation was sued by the World Wildlife Fund for rights to the initials WWF.  The WWF won (panda version).  So the World Wrestling Federation becomes World Wrestling Entertainment.  From WWF to WWE.  I’m fine with that.  In the last few years or so, the backstage folks would joke how Vince McMahon is trying to get rid of the word “Wrestling” altogether.  As it turns out… they weren’t really joking.  They don’t even want to be called World Wrestling Entertainment anymore.  They request…forcefully… to be referred to as WWE.

I understand that WWE has been expanding.  WWE Films puts out a couple films a year.  WWE is looking to start up a cable channel which would obviously have non-trying-to-pin-a-guy’s-shoulder-to-the-mat content.  That’s fine.  We fans have been trained that these men and women are not merely wrestlers, but SUPERSTARS!  You know what?  I’m even fine with that.

So there’s a show about young folks training to become wrestlers.  It is called “Tough Enough” and I like it a LOT!  Bret Hart came in this past Monday to talk to the kids.  The trainees are rightly in awe of this Legend of the Squared Circle.

At 1:48 into the video below, Bret mentions:

“I take a lot of pride in being a serious professional wrestler”

Now the kicker is… WWE fucking CENSORED the word “wrestler”.  I am not fine with that.

.

My jaw dropped.

First of all, there’s the terrible irony of a legend in this business telling us how PROUD he was to be a wrestler, only to have the show he is on be ashamed that he is referring to himself as such.  But second, who in their right mind censored it?  Who thought, “Did Bret Hart just call himself a WRESTLER?  No.  No, we can’t have that.”

Because somebody did.  And sadly, I think his name rhymes with Shmince ShmcMahon.

It’s just fucking ridiculous.

And FYI, I would rather watch CM Punk wrestle Daniel Bryan for an hour than listen to five seconds of John Cena making a “poopy” joke about his opponent of the month.

I Don’t Doubt El Dandy,

Kev

UPDATE!!  They changed a match, so I am changing a prediction.  Vladmir Koslov has been taken out of the 8 man tag match and has been replaced with Kofi Kingston.  As a result, I am changing my prediction to Kofi’s team winning.  He DID just lose the Intercontinental Championship to Wade Barrett, and I figure a win at Wrestlemania might make it up to the guy.

And now…back to the blog in progress:

It’s time for the biggest show of the year, The Showcase of the Immortals, this… … … is WRESTLEMANIA!

Before we get to what’s on the card, let’s get to what’s NOT on the show which is the Money in the Bank match. This match has happened for the last six Wrestlemanias and proves very exciting each time.  Eight guys in a match fight to climb a ladder and grab a briefcase containing a shot at their choice of championships for any time during the next year.  This is a highlight every year and they fuckin’ pulled it.

Big mistake, guys.  The Money in the Bank match has always had a very special feeling to it.  When you were watching it you knew this was a big deal.

Wrestlemania’s guest host is The Rock.  This was a GREAT addition.  He says he has some very special things planned for the night and dammit, I believe him.

Wait… let’s try again.

[Whew, that's better!]  On to the matches.  I copied this list from Wikipedia – changing the order of the top three.

I dunno’.  The card isn’t AMAZING.  But it’s the biggest show of the year, ya’ know?

I’m sure there will be many fun non-match segments throughout.  I’m hoping Diesel shows up.  What else you got, Vince?

sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY,

Kev